The book “How to win friends and influence people” recommends that you that you start to adapt all these different behaviors that show people you value them and are happy to meet them. These include smiling, showing appreciation, being interested in what they have to say, listening, etc.
The book also mentions that you have to be authentic when exhibiting these behaviors, otherwise people can see through them. But this feels like the biggest contradiction, because if I was authentically very happy to see people and valued them, I probably would already exhibit those behaviors and wouldnt need to read the book.
The difference between me and a naturally charismatic person is that their brain lights up, gets excited and receives lots of pleasure from meeting someone new whereas my brain doesn’t always light up and I feel neutral about their presence a lot of the time. I would like to achieve the brain state of the charismatic person when meeting a new person. The other option is to be able to reliably and very convincingly fake these behaviors which I am also considering training for. But this can lead to inauthentic connections and emotionally draining social interactions.