This is a bit of a long post..sorry
So back in June 2023 my wife and son were hanging out with my neighbour (male) quite frequently as he has a son too. They would go over, stay late, my wife would enjoy wine etc. Well August rolled around and my wife basically admitted to having feelings for this guy..which I handled as best I could (I said things like “its human nature, im glad you told me, I need time to process). I then found texts on her phone basically showing them sexting and instances where they were kissing and grabbing eachother some nights. We have been in couple therapy since, she hasnt had sex with me even after Ive approached her MULTIPLE times. I will admit I do have some pretty intense kinks which she use to participate in years ago but has no interest now. In therapy she admitted that she looks at me differently (less attracted as a man etc) but she still loves me and wants this to work. I want this to work too but she isnt partaking in sex, all her days are about our son (shes a stay at home wife) and she never wants to take time to go away for a weekend
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Now I have an opportunity to go away for a week in April to Mexico. I was thinking of possibly exploring my sex life down there just as a one off. Its been so long but I still feel guilty just thinking about it. I want this to work but I know im going to have to sacrifice my sexual interest for vanilla sex… at best if she even puts out. I want this marriage to work but my guy keeps telling me odds are it may not. So thats why Im considering having my fun just for a week. I’ve been faithful for 10 years of our marriage, I work and am very succesful, I provide an extravagant lifestyle for my family and have built wealth where we will be very well off in our retirement…Im just so torn