First off I apologize for formatting, this is my first post of this type and I’m on mobile, so sorry I’m advance.
So I(30m) have been with GF(27f) for 8 months living together for four. We’ve had a rough spot the last month, big fight on Valentine’s Day where I ended up leaving with the phone I put under my contract for her.
Long story short, there was a message on snap chat that I ended up reading. Found out she messaged a male friend happy valentines before saying hi to me, he kept messaging what he wanted to do to her sexually. Her responses were along the line of “I know haha” not once did she try to shut him down, messaged him all day until our argument started.
So I get home from work in the morning, and wait for our couples counseling to bring it up to her, basically found out this has been ongoing our whole relationship and her justification is she stopped sending him nudes and sexting him(before our relationship they did that for six years and she admitted that 3.5 years ago she developed feelings but he said he just wants to screw her) when we started dating.
I’m not sure how to feel or what to do, she refuses to admit that it was emotional cheating, but I found out today she messaged him on Facebook asking him to delete the conversation right after I left with her phone, showing me she knew it was wrong, I basically was told it was only because she knew I would “overreact.“ I’m lost, confused, and not sure if I can regain trust. I don’t know if I want to leave since I still feel like I love her, but I’m not sure how to regain the trust I lost from this and her indifference and refusal to call it cheating has made me think she never loved me.
Any advice is appreciated.
TL:DR
Got in a fight Valentine’s Day, went through gf’s snap, found out she’s been messaging this guy our whole relationship, and she refuses to see it as a issue. Not sure whether to split or work through it.