Hey! 28F here and I’m just trying to save myself from more annoying experiences. I always end up meeting guys that are very “into” me at the beginning. They text first, respond super quickly, are actually involved in the conversation and ask questions about me. I usually err on the side of “they’re not that into me”, but I can admit when a guy really likes me, because guys are super clear and obvious when they’re attracted to you. So anyway, I meet these guys, I’m convinced they like me because some of them openly say it, but then when we hang out after talking for a bit, they always try to make it physical. I’m very direct with them and I tell them that I don’t want to have sex on the first date. Then I get the notorious F-Boy message along the lines of “Hey, you’re great and I don’t want to lead you on, but just did some thinking and I guess I’m not really ready for a relationship, which seems like more what you’re looking for.” For example, one guy from work actually would go out of his way to see me, I’d catch him staring at me from a distance, then he got my number, then we texted a lot. We hung out and he told me that he just broke up with a girl he met on a dating site 5 days before we started texting! Then he tried to get super physical, I said no, then he sent the classic message. It’s just frustrating…like I know there are guys out there who just want sex, but how do I spot them before even exchanging numbers? I just want to avoid these time wasters and find decent guys that actually want a relationship. Are there like classic signs or tells of these types of guys so I can avoid them?
Also, I’m not opposed to kissing or whatever on the first date and I do things to let these guys know that I’m attracted to them too. So I don’t think I’m pushing them away or hurting their pride. I think they just only want sex from the start and that’s super annoying.