I (41f) wasn’t intentionally looking but clicked on the joint tablet app for IG and a bunch of nude pictures were right in my face. I looked into the profile and realized it is a secret account that my husband (42m) made. Now I know guys like to look at porn but this is more. His profile is female. He gets messages from random people. They say hi and he says hi back. He calls people master or other BDSM terms. If he’s actively progressed the conversation, it’s been deleted but I don’t have proof of that.
I’m not perfect. I had an emotional affair with a close friend during a time when my husband and I were not in a good place. Our marriage has been a struggle ever since. He knows about the affair and he’s trying to forgive me. I deleted messages from my “friend” so now he doesn’t trust me. I know that’s not ok but it seems hypocritical.
I am extremely hurt and I understand how he feels after what I did to him. Do I confront him about the secret account? Should I be concerned that the profile lists him as female? How do I approach him about the account?
Tl;dr My husband’s secret IG account has his profile as female and follows all of the bdsm people.