Hi, I’m (20f) a virgin, and I have some worries over my libido and sex life.
Yesterday night, in a nightclub, a guy hit on me for the first time ever, we kissed and etc. Nothing more happened yesterday night (by the huge disappointment of my friends), but I basically promised that guy that I would sleep with him later.
Now waking up I still want to sleep with him, so yeah, that’s not the issue here.
My issue is that I have a high libido without having any specific sexual attraction toward anyone (I’m asexual, I think). On top of it, I’m a sub. So I’m concerned that my libido pushes me to choose anyone who shows a slight interest in me, and to be “too easy”, not picky enough with partners, or to get manipulated by someone. I’m scared to make bad decisions/offer myself to anyone just because I have a high libido, I’m touch-starved, and that I don’t have preferences. I know I’ve made some bad decisions in the past because of how easily turned on I get (like sending pics to someone online when he asks in the spur of the moment). I don’t regret these, but I’m definitely aware that I was not thinking with my head here.
It alarmed me how quickly he turned me on just by kissing (i’m still not sure how to feel about them, not particularly amazing but still nice because of the intimacy). I’m inexperienced, but I basically turned into putty yesterday. And it’s the first guy that hit on me.
Maybe I’m overthinking, but I don’t know how to feel about these worries.
Also, before someone says that I should keep my first time for someone I love, I’m aromantic. So if I played by those rules I would stay a virgin till I die.