The past week or so has been stressful. My partner was logged into discord on my PC and had gone to work a few days ago, once i had come back to the PC there was a message and a lot of other threads relating to her kinks to and from other men (along with nudes, custom photos, and videos. She had given the green-light to use her socials when mine act up on old devices or phones die etc. I explicitly asked and she denied it ever happened, then reigniting the argument a few days later she was found looking through those messages. Unblocking and revealing the NSFW content. She knows im pretty old minded and am not a fan of the internet which she was Great with to begin with. But now after finding this out and it still being an ongoing issue i feel hurt and ashamed i let this type of thing get to me. I found out tonight too, trying to install a game she asked for that in her saved files she had been on kink sites and watching custom porn literal hours before we went on dates but hadn’t communicated this when i asked, she even calls male friends sexy, hot and tells them she loves them, sending x’s etc when i barely get that and we are together. Im not sure if i am in the wrong for finding out what was open to me and im not blaming her. Im just confused where to go from here. We have great times together and are tied up financially with holidays etc. and her family is great. I dont want to lose her i just dont know how to express im unhappy with her actions since i was told to clear out past relationships and flings by her too.
I just feel like this sort of broken trust will stagnate and build up if not resolved soon. Ive suggested tech free nights and communicating more which im greeted with agreements that are then passed off hours or mere days later. And even on dates and days out it bothers me how much shes messaging when im there leaving friends on delivered while we spend quality time together.