It can be a significant other, relative or even a friend.

27 comments

  1. “If only you were a man”

    The way they looked at me made me feel dirty for being a female.
    It doesn’t make sense, but there’s no other way to explain it.

    This happened last year and I haven’t said anything about it. They were wildly drunk when it happened and they don’t recall what happened. I’ve been justifying their words with this fact. Maybe not the wisest thing, idk.

    Edited to add – They just came out to me earlier that night and I’d been fighting feelings I’d been developing.

  2. I don’t know if this counts but I had a really good friend. Someone who knew all my secrets and vice versa. She relentlessly tried to steal my husband, she blasted my name all over social media for years, told all my secrets to the world.

    All because I told her I wasn’t ok with her flirting with my husband when her boyfriend broke up with her.

    I don’t even want to say it was rip my heart out. I’ve just never been more disappointed in my judgement on someone’s character. Because I never seen that coming.

  3. One of my *best friends* in college that I had a massive crush on for over 2 years. He was the first guy to make me feel really specifically special. We spent so much time together and he made it clear that I was *different*. Without revealing too much information, we almost hooked up right before college graduation. I kind of came to in the moment and told him “I can’t do this without knowing what you’re feeling.” Then he told me he had a girlfriend he hadn’t yet told me about and that he was staying with her. (He said he was exclusively into a specific ethnicity and well, I am not that.) I would have never gone that far with him if I’d known he wasn’t single or actually interested. I felt taken advantage of.

    I told him that it was clear that I was into him and that he shouldn’t have led me on if he didn’t feel the same way. I was also livid that he made me the *other woman* which I felt disgusted about. After that 2am conversation, I never spoke to him again. I ignored every text, every call and eventually I moved to a different state after graduation.

    It was honestly worse than my only actual relationship breakup. I just felt so betrayed by someone that I was incredibly close with and trusted.

  4. When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I dated someone and it was my first significant relationship. We ended up being on and off due to his mental health and he was hospitalized for suicidal ideations and hypomania. I was really supportive, but we (he) decided he should take some time to himself. I left that college for a bit due to my own MH and ended up transferring. We were very dramatic and silly, but it was genuine for me. We wrote that’d we would get back together one day.

    We went no contact to make it easier and less than one month later, he had a new girlfriend.

    I. Was. Devastated. I ended up super depressed and was really off for a while. I felt so betrayed and blind sided. It did confirm the idea that if someone wants to see you or be with you, they will.

  5. My friend tried to tell me she had cancer. I lost both my parents to cancer a couple years before. She didn’t even come to my wedding or my moms funeral either we literally grew up together lol

  6. I told my parents that them ignoring me sometimes made me want to kill myself.

    They stopped talking to me for a year.

    (Yes, I have since sought help.)

  7. Being cheated on by my now ex bf. He was my first everything and we were living together for a few years. We were complete opposites of each other but by god I was determined to make it work, while he was fine with coasting. We talked about marriage and kids, and had started planning a weekend romantic getaway for us to reconnect. We even went ring shopping together and we discussed when I should take out my IUD for us to start trying. Well one day I went on his phone and boy was I shocked to see the messages, and pictures, and hearts to several different women. It was an emotional whiplash. Every time I was intimate with him physically or emotionally, every time I was busy with school or work, every time I visited my parents and encouraged him to do the same he preceded or followed it up by messaging one of the other women. It wasn’t like I wasn’t checking in with him. I would initiate every date plan, every outing, every talk about our past present and future, finances, our goals, our sex life, EVERYTHING. He would mostly shut me down or stonewall me. He said he was lonely and I offered to host his friend group for game night or pay for his ticket to see his family and he refused. Turns out after all that he was planning on using my money to see his parents to sleep with another woman. Also he was too coward to tell me what he really wanted in the bedroom so he got it elsewhere. Mind you it was something we had already done and I had initiated it so all he has to do was tell me more. It made me feel used, betrayed, completely lose trust in people, and dear god the rage I felt after everything went down.

  8. I struggle to decide if it was the one ex who put me through years of abuse. Or the one who allegedly sexually assault my sister.

    I dont date anymore. Keep moving forward

  9. Realizing my husband’s been emotionally abusing me for the past 16 years. I didn’t have labels for it back then. I knew his actions made me feel awful but I thought it was just how couples fought even though I never felt the urge to act that way towards him. It only recently clicked for me when he yelled at me, smashed something, called me a piece of shit, and threatened to divorce AGAIN.

  10. Got home from time with the kids (she 14, about to turn 15. He, just hit 11).

    Walked inside to find wife (of about five years) in the living room. One woman in the front, the other in the back.

    All three utterly engrossed in each other, they never heard us enter. A third comes out of kitchen in nothing but panties, sees us. She doesn’t say a word as I take off wedding ring and put it on the dining table.

    Quietly tell kids to go to bedrooms and pack a bag. I do the same. We go straight to Mum/Dad’s place (her parents – that I and the kids still keep in touch with). Two days later, we go to the lawyers office to file for divorce.

    She doesn’t contest, and gives up all parental rights to the kids. Three months ago, would’ve been our 10th anniversary.

  11. My mom got into an argument with my dad and packed my brother up and was going to leave but I ran to the car and got in too. She told me to get out and I refused (She even hit me) but I wouldn’t get out so she changed her mind and went back in.

    Then when I was a teenager she made a reference too it, she was having issues with my dad and told me “If it wasn’t for you I would’ve been out of here a long time ago” But I had always preferred my mom over my dad (Who was horrible in his own ways) when I was a kid I wrote my mom asking her to divorce him and slipped it under her door. She ended up showing it to him though.

  12. I told him everything that hurt and broke me. My past, my family drama, my traumas. I thought I could trust him. I thought he would take care of me. I thought he would keep me safe knowing what I went through. And then he did the exact same thing, and I never thought my already broken heart would still break even more. I literally felt crushed.

    —

    When I gave birth to my daughter, I promised myself I would never let her experience what I had growing up, the broken family and the messed up childhood. But her father made me break that promise when he cheated on me. I had to leave for my sanity’s sake. Now I only see her once a month when I visit our old apartment. I’m trying to heal myself and work through the pain, but it’s hard not to bleed when triggered.

  13. My ex-boyfriend was the light of my life. He came into my life after my husband and I separated and was everything I needed him to be – everything my husband wasn’t. He met my kids, was patient and kind, and he showed me what real love is.

    Or so I thought.

    I got pregnant and he didn’t want kids. He broke up with me and left me feeling ashamed, humiliated, alone and distraught. I have our beautiful daughter who I wouldn’t trade for the world, but I do miss my ex.

  14. The guy that I thought genuinely cared about me, and then I found out some stuff about him from others that were reflective of what I had experienced with him. After I connected with one of the women, he accused me of slander and told me I’m mentally ill.

  15. Being cheated on. No one has ever hurt me as much as he did, the person who was supposed to care for me more than anyone.

  16. My partner, (ex as of yesterday) threatened to blackmail me because I wouldn’t agree to permanently adopting a stray dog that I initially was told would be for “one night”that he became attached to and already said we would be rehoming. My engagement ring just came in the mail. You don’t threaten to blackmail people you love.

  18. I was in an abusive relationship right out of highschool. We had a lot of mutual friends and once they found out what was going on, they dropped him. One of my closest friends who I had known since first grade told me “you should just do what he says and then he won’t have a reason to be mad.”

    I never spoke to her again. Sometimes I still can’t believe it.

  19. I was 18 and he was 25. He was severely mentally ill and I broke up with him. I still cared deeply about him and kept in contact with him because he was threatening suicide and I felt responsible/trapped because I didn’t know what to do. I told his family and friends about the threats. Eventually, he killed himself and blamed me in the suicide letter. I was shattered. That was almost 9 years ago, but it took me a long time to let go of the guilt.

  20. It was an ex. We’d had a not great relationship. He really liked making me jealous by flaunting this one lady friend he had, flirting with her over text or publicly on Facebook and then telling me I was crazy when I called him out. Apparently because she lived in the Caribbean, it wasn’t cheating?

    Anyway, he got deployed and things went from bad to worse. He got really mean and then would tell me I had to deal with it because being overseas changes people. We split up for a while because I just couldn’t take the emotional baggage he was putting on me. When he got back, I wasn’t planning on us getting back together but I was at least willing to see him again.

    We went on a few dates and got really close. It looked like we were going to get back together after all. We were honestly better than we’d ever been. I confided in him about things I had never told anyone about, and after what he did, I haven’t confided in anyone about these things since. I told him deeply personal stuff about my childhood that I’ve always kept secret.

    After one night in particular where we’d stayed up until four in the morning on the phone talking and me just spilling my heart out, he stopped talking to me the next day. When I went to work, I started getting phone calls and then texts from an unknown caller telling me I was nuts and I was going to get fired, that they were going to get me fired. Then the number started telling me things about myself that only one person knew.

    Where intimacy is concerned, I tend to be private about the specifics. This unknown number knew things that only a lover could have known, but also started blaming me for abuse that happened in my childhood. I went to my manager with the texts asking if they knew anything about this. He said my job was safe and not to worry, and that he’d have someone walk me to my car from now on. When I got to my car after my shift, all four of my tires were slashed and my car had white paint on it calling me a derogatory word.

    For months after that, I kept getting calls and texts from random numbers, harassing me about the things I’d told this person. I reached out to him asking if he knew anything about it and he acted shocked. Then the texts got worse, saying they were going to have me arrested for made up charges and pushing that they could get away with it because of all the law in their “back pocket.” Insisting I couldn’t do anything about any of it.

    My mental health suffered and I eventually did get fired from that job. The harassment kept up for three years. I eventually had to move out of the city. To this day, I can look forward to one day a year when one of them messages me about this stuff. About a year after it all started, my ex sent me an email that he was writing a book about his life and wanted to include a few chapters about me and our relationship. He threatened me that if I ever tried to contest the book being published, he would go public with my name and other identifying information that would then bring up a lot of bad for my family and I.

    I started regularly looking him up in fear that he’d publish something. He hasn’t to date, and it’s been several years now, but I did find a blog of his where he posted my personal information, including my phone number, and asked all his friends to mess with me as revenge for breaking up with him when he was overseas. The blog was on a Tucker Max fan site, if that tells you anything about their views on women. In his blog, pretty much every entry was about his experiences dating traumatised Hispanic women and then blasting our personal lives for funzies.

  21. When I was 15, I fell in love with an older guy. There were red flags from the very beginning (I found him so annoying and full of himself) but somehow I still fell head over heels over him. After going out for about a month, being intimate, meeting my family, etc, he tells me that he had been dating another girl at the same time and they had been together before he even met me. I was incredibly heartbroken but stupidly, I still held on to the hope that he’d choose me. He kept playing manipulative head games with me and said he loved me more, that he’d leave her, then wouldn’t.

    After I got fed up with his lies, I met someone else and he still wouldn’t leave me alone. He would try to meet me places, tell my friends that I was “the love of his life”, and follow me online and send me messages saying he “missed me so much”, still while being with the same girl (she was aware of everything at this point). Like a weird obsession. Sadly he was really good at getting inside my head. I never stopped loving him even after all the bullshit, so I would still let him in. Big mistake. This went on for about three years. He didn’t care who I was with or that I asked him to leave me alone. When I would talk to him about how much his actions hurt me and all of my deep feelings, he would gaslight me and put the blame back on me or act like what he did was not a big deal. And still try to get me to meet up with him and get me back and have sex.

    I eventually moved to a different state and met my husband and blocked him on everything. Haven’t seen him or communicated in years thankfully.

    Looking back, I think I was like his fix or something. Or I was just the side piece and he wanted me as his backup? He took advantage of my immaturity and my deep love for him. I don’t know. The whole thing was torturous. It was an emotional rollercoaster that left me very traumatized and jaded.

  22. A week after I got married my son was murdered. And my wife (I’m also female) was just horribly mean to me in the moments and days that followed. She left me to plan the funeral, pay for it, and when I would call her she would ignore my calls for others. When I got home from all of it, the rent hadn’t been paid and I owed $2,000. And when I tried to tell her any of that hurt me, she argued that it didn’t, saying awful things to me.

    So that was how I got married and almost divorced in 1 week.

  23. I dated this guy for 5 years… I could have sworn he was the one.. we had a
    healthy relationship for the most part. Our families got along, and we did every major holiday together. He started acting distant in 2022. He’s the type who doesn’t allow himself to feel his feelings or come to terms with his thoughts.. 2 weeks after my birthday and after his out state family left .. he asked if we could have an open relationship because he felt that he needed a different type of relationship… (I’m not sure if he meant relationships or friendships) So I agreed (I am an understanding person, and I wanted to support him and his feelings). Once, I started getting attention from other men. He backed out.. so I stopped pursuing all of the men who were giving me attention. I wanted to save my main relationship. Once I ended things with the men.. my bf at the time was very quiet and just sat there.. this is usually when he’s feeling or thinking about something serious. I had to work at him to spill what was on his mind… he said, ” Look, I’ve been feeling like I need more life experience, different relationships, etc) I was like, so how long have you felt this way? He said, ” Since year 3 of our relationship. I seriously thought it would go away. I said, ” Things this serious don’t go away if you don’t address it at the moment.” He was like I think we should end our relationship. ” ” I was like 5 years together. You felt strongly about something in year 3 but still strung me along the last 2 years. At this point, I disassociated ( my mother up and left me when I was a teenager ). I was thrown back into a flashback.. he triggered my abandonment issues. He was like I’m sorry I don’t mean to hurt you .. all I could do was walk out.

    Our relationship ended in February… I was locked into a lease with him, so I had to finish the last 10 months of it… by September, I admitted myself to the mental hospital. I had a mental break … I was in there for a week.

    I’ve learned that I love people the way I wish I would have been loved as a child…

  24. Was in an incredibly intimate relationship for 2 years. He was in a rough spot financially so I had my mom pull some strings at her job to get him in the door. It really helped him out and I was so happy he was doing better. I didn’t use social media much at the time but for some reason I logged onto Facebook after he had been working there a couple months. I found out he was seeing someone he worked with because he posted about it. Ripped my heart right out. What made it 10x worse was my mom knew and didn’t say a single word. He ended up dating the other woman for 6 years, and cheated on her almost immediately after asking her to marry him.

  25. After two years in a very intense LDR, including over 24 hrs of flying and thousand of dollars to meet and spend ten days together, on the perfect vacation, finally placing my trust in a man to always be there for me.

    He faked his own death by suicide and had his sister whom I was also friends with and met while I was visiting tell me the news. (This was during COVID and I couldn’t fly back for a funeral or anything). I was devastated. Eventually she stopped talking to me because it was too painful for her.

    I slowly started putting my life back together one piece at a time. More than a year later his sister starts messaging me again, only I realized based on the flow of words and language it wasn’t his sister, it was him. I confronted him about it and he admitted to it. Immediately. Even wanted me to fly back so he could make it up to me.

    He thought thinking he died would make it easier for me to move on with my life than just breaking up with me when he thought the world was ruined by COVID. He wanted us to get back together.

    I blocked him.

    Needless to say I trust no one anymore lol

  26. When I thought I connected with someone online. To later find out he was married and used me as an escape. Everything he told me was real to me but it was all a lie for him.

    It was when I had also just come out of a shitty marriage. And when I opened up to someone new for the first time. I will never interact with men like that again online.

  27. My ex husband cheated on me which was awful. What was worse is that his sister helped him and became friends with the other woman while we were still married and allegedly trying to work on our marriage. I understand that people cheat and that is awful in itself, but I was devastated that his sister got involved.I understand that he was her brother and I guess her loyalty was to him but she was a complete asshole about it and go so involved in the affair. I never did anything to her to deserve it that I was aware of. She and I had known each either since we were fourteen and fifteen years old, shared a home at one point, were pregnant together and babysat each others kids. We had no falling out or rift that I was ever aware of. When she was questioned about it, she just shrugged her shoulders and said that her and I were never that close to begin with. I have been happily divorced for ten years and I don’t even think about him, but I never forgave her for that.

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