I don’t know how to phrase or structure this post, but I’ll try my best. Everyone close to me tells me there’s a disconnect between how I look and seem and how I really am. Like everyone believes I’m this intelligent, smart, quiet, goal-oriented, logical, ambitious guy with a good head on my shoulders (this is not a humble brag, I fucking hate it). And everything on paper backs that up: I have an extensive education, good background, I like classic literature and everything is in order to back up that pre-conceived notion. However, I’m not truly ambitious, nor am I goal-oriented. I literally did all this education so I can be in a position to sit on my ass and not be micro-managed. I’m hoping to get a WFH job eventually. Education and my hard work is just a necessary tool to live a life of leisure, not some grand ambition of changing the world.
Deep down I *feel* like a jokester, bon-vivant, devil may care and playful. However, I’m told my true feelings are very disconnected to how I’m perceived and extremely jarring for people. Like people can’t even tell I’m joking, I could say the most extreme hyperbole and people will take it as if I’m saying bona-fide fact. I’m always taken seriously. There is this expectation that I must act a certain way, believe a certain ideology and have a personality that fits in the box of what people expect of me. I feel like the person I truly am is incompatible with the person people perceive me to be. I’m told it’s quite alarming and disconcerting at best, and irritating at its worst.
tl; dr- My natural personality is a mix of Roger Sterling from Madmen mixed with a 80 year old grandmother who has nothing better to do but gossip and be lazy from her arm-chair (I’m told I have the exact personality of my grandmother), but in reality I’m a fit/ athletic 25 year old man with a masters with a natural “aura (?)” of being intelligent, ambitious and serious.