I’ve been going too the same gym about 4x per week for the last 6 months. Every day I am in there, I see the same woman (probably around my age) working out.
Each day, we catch each other’s eyes at least 2-3 times. Sometimes I will be working out on a machine and she will come use the machine directly next to me, and not move until I get up to go do another exercise. I notice that if I am using dumbbells, she will also walk in front of me to re-rack instead of going around me.
We both wear big headphones, so are we both giving off that “don’t talk to me” vibe?
I am tall, decently fit and pretty good looking, but I am also a pretty shy person. I don’t think I have ever tried to walk up to a woman and start a conversation with just us two. Usually I meet them through friends or at concerts / events.
Being a creep and approaching her mid-set is not on my to-do list, but I definitely get a sense that she is interested in me. Not one girl I have met has been through a gym and I know there are people who say not to even try it. I didn’t even really notice her until I realized we were making eye contact a few times in one day.
Should I smile and wave next time we make eye contact, or should I walk up and initiate a conversation? I don’t really want to make it awkward if I am over thinking this.
Edit: also I never talk to ANYONE at the gym, so I can definitely understand the concept of “don’t talk to me while I’m relieving stress and getting fit”
47 comments
Unless she approaches you leave it at that. Women get hit on and asked out everywhere and typically when at the gym they just want to be left alone and workout.
I’m a girl but I want to answer- I would hate for you to lose your chance. Perhaps leaving her a written note with your number might shoo things along? It isn’t creepy, it’s nice without being weird, and it gives her the option to decline respectfully. Best of luck!
Homie just smile at her
When she’s resting between sets go and talk to her and gauge interest
Let me preface this by saying that a lot of this is about body language, so without seeing you and her it’s not possible to give surefire advice
However, here’s some neutral advice: if you make eye contact again, give her a casual nod and a smile. Don’t wave, that puts her on the spot by drawing the attention of everyone. If she smiles back, that’s a sign that you can approach her for a simple conversation after you’re both done. if she doesn’t smile, she might not be interested right now but is now aware of you, so something may come of it later.
It’s always possible that she won’t be receptive if you do approach her, but this way you’ve signaled your intent ahead of time and given her an out if she doesn’t want it.
Just introduce yourself. Hi my name is Yung, what’s yours? You don’t have to ask her out or hit on her. It’s not complicated.
To lose a combat you have to enter the ring.
Don’t do it.
Go out of your way to avoid her.
Avoid eye contact. If she walks in front of you to re-rack, deliberately look away
If she comes to use a machine nearby after you get going? Stop, get up, wipe yours down, and go to another.
Bruh you already have her attention, just smile and introduce yourself next time you see her and she looks your way . She could literally be contemplating how to approach or talk to you the same way you are . Don’t try too hard , let it happen naturally maybe when you cross paths or are next to her on the next machine or station . Don’t try to offer technique advice or don’t offer her a spot on her best lift as your opening line . She probably gets that from Dbags every time she hits the gym . If she continues to show interest , ask her if she wants to grab a smoothie or somthing simple post workout . If things go smoothly then you can ask her on an actual date . At this point you will know forsure if she’s interested or not . Just be cool and confident . One time I was in the same position as you , making eye contact and sending smiles ……..I was on the back rowing machine and just said good morning to her … next thing you know she was in my room a few days later and needless to say we had a lil workout together outside the gym .
Here is my tip: Make yourself more approachable. I sounds overly simple, but not wearing the big headphones all the time and giving a genuine smile that just communicates “oh it’s the friendly seeming woman I see regularly” goes a long way. Also being friendly with other people at the gym also communicates to her that you are approachable.
If you find her making eye contact and she returns your smile and doesn’t have her earphones in (because if she’s into you she might try to make herself more approachable as well), just say something like “that’s an impressive amount of weight you are lifting” smile and see how she responds, if she’s friendly tell her your name and mention that you see her a lot.
Just smile and say hi how are you doing
Do the weights bro……
Girl ain’t important…….
Pass her a note. As an introvert and a girl, this would be ideal. It could just say something funny or stupid, off topic even, but the creative acknowledgement is delicious
Gym is woman makes the first move territory.
if she aint bold enough to talk to you, leave her be.
You’re completely blowing this whole thing out of proportion. The reason why this is bad is because you’re psyching yourself out before you’ve ever said a single word to her! Your imagination is sprinting far beyond reality.
Next time you guys make eye contact, just say something casual like “Hey, how’s it going?”
There’s nothing in it.. just do your routine.. mind your own business and leave.
She’s uc for the gym. Soon as you dare talk to her, she’s going to go live, call you a perv, ruin your rep.
If it’s worth the worst case scenario. Go for it. But it could be she’s only looking in your direction to see if you’re looking at her. Then teasing subtlety to go live, and go full Karen.
making eye contact doesn’t mean anything, you’re making up stuff in your head
Go to the gym without headphones a few times and see if she approaches you.
Go say: “Ayy u want some pipe?”
Not advice, but I had a similar situation. There was oen girl who I would always make eye contact with at the gym. We’d see each other there all the time. After a little while, I decided to see of there’s anything there, so I asked to work in with her on a dip machine. I figured if she was interested, we’d spark up a convo while using the same machine. Unfortunately, she kept her headphones on, stayed on her phone the entire time and had her back towards me. That told me she wasn’t interested.
So…see if you have better luck. Ask to work in with her, keep your headphones off… And see what happens.
Just smile back, not much else
kid, if you was as attractive as you say you are, that woman would’ve made a move on you already.
Nod smile
..
Ask her about that unusual exercise she’s doing.
I like that curl, how far should I rotate my arm if I try it.
“Being a creep and approaching her midset is not on my todo list” – sorry to sidetrack but this right here is why I’m not a feminist.
Teaching men that wanting to engage with a woman, daring to show any attraction is somehow being a “creep”.
One time at the gym I was at I had the same situation, she would come workout by me and always be lookin at me. I didn’t really say anything but I’m sure it would have been friendly.
Another time a lady kept looking at me and one time I was going out to my car and she straight up followed me, knocked on my window, and started trying to talk to me. Felt a bit odd.
I think you should just smile and see what happens! Always nice to have someone to chat with for a bit at the gym anyways.
You could ask her a question about an exercise she’s doing between sets while you’re next to each other. Then gauge interest from there. I was in a similar situation and when the girl was next to me I just asked her some question related to what she was doing/what that movement worked out and then introduced myself as she showed interest. If she doesn’t show interest I don’t think it’s too creepy of a move and maybe you learned something new… wouldn’t recommend asking about any ass exercises though lol. I always wear headphones in the gym and as long as people are short I’ve never gotten mad about someone asking something while I was between sets, am a dude though so maybe its different for girls. But as long as you’re nice and come off as genuinely interested about what you ask her, shouldn’t be too bad
Sounds like a slam dunker to me. Quit wasting time if you are interested
Smile and lick your lips seductively chicks dig that
Personally, I’d give her a friendly nod + smile next time we meet eyes. Do this maybe one more time, and then move on to give a friendly wave or a hi. If you’re good-looking/she’s attracted to you enough that should give her the push to chat you up. Also, take off the headphones, and keep a relaxed expression.
Happens a LOT. Initial positive eye contact or even talking … now what?!!!
Brain! Help us out here!
“Hey I’m <your name here>.” If she responds with her name then ask for her info. If she doesn’t then say it was nice to meet her and continue your workout.
Do not initiate conversation with her.
Hey, what are you listening to?
Try not wearing the headphones a few times. If she approaches you, great, make it happen. If she doesn’t, go back to wearing headphones and give up on her.
I get a bad vibe from women who try to get the guy to take the risk when they are interested. That’s not being shy, that’s being a coward.
Rather than do or don’t talk, just smile and acknowledge her and see how she responds maybe wear less “go away” headphones.
Hitting on women doesn’t make you a douchebag. Being sleazy, not taking no for an answer or doing so in an environment where the power dynamic is messed up does. If she blanks you be prepared to graciously accept it, if she gives you short answers take the hint, wish her a good workout and get on with it. If she accidentally panics and sends you off then she knows she can approach and restart conversation.
There’s a very mixed bag of both men and women with wildly varying opinions. That tells you it’s possible to do it wrong and to do it right. Be understanding, be kind, be gracious and remember to put the weights back when you’re done.
If I was you I’d not do anything, there seems to be a big trend atm for women trying to catch guys looking in their direction for a split second so they can film it and accuse the guy of being a pervert.
Joey Swoll has put commentary over quite a few videos where this happens and the guy being shamed literally did nothing.
She may we’ll be into you but sadly for me anyway of was in your shoes it’d be too risky.
This was me a few months ago, saw a girl every day at the gym who I’d smile and say good morning to every morning in passing for months but never went beyond that. One day she approached me and introduced herself. Turns out the feelings were mutual for months but I didn’t have the balls to make the move. I understand the gym is a sacred place, but if you catch her constantly looking at you it isn’t a coincidence. Shoot your shot brotha!
just talk to her. i’ve been in the same situation. i finally went up and sat on the machine next to her and joked “can you teach me how to use this?” and we struck up a convo. just talk to her homie
Here’s what you do: Lock eyes with her while you do [Jefferson’s](https://youtu.be/VzQhgHPoi4s). Never fails.
You just need a casual ice breaker that allows a short convo. If they have tattoos, “excuse me, did you get that done out here? I’m looking for an artist”.
I use it all the time and it has led to 100% positive interactions. I need to find one that applies to non-tatted girls.
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You look, she looks.
You smile, she smiles.
You say hi, she says hi.
It just keeps getting better.
Just take your headphones off between sets. Have them off when you fill your water bottle. If you make eye contact with her, smile and give her a nod. If you see her walking around nearby with her headphones off, just say hi and introduce yourself.
Don’t plan for anything to come from it. Just be a touch more approachable, and see what that does.
> Each day, we catch each other’s eyes at least 2-3 times. Sometimes I will be working out on a machine and she will come use the machine directly next to me, and not move until I get up to go do another exercise.
Is that unusual? Is this a massive gym? Do you not look at and make eye contact with lots of people who also happen to be there? Do you not find yourself on machines close to other people, sometimes even in close succession?
You seem to be very into this chick, and you have NO WAY to judge her reactions, as she’s masked the whole time. Other people here keep saying “you’ll know”, “her eyes will sparkle”, etc, to which I say: nonsense! You find her attractive, which means you will interpret her actions as being very favorable to you. You’re flying blind, blinded by hormones.
Gyms have become special places, where women’s safety and comfort is highly prioritized. It’s easy to mis-step. We live in a society, as they say.
If you really want to see where this goes, escalate very slowly. Lose the headphones. Give a quick smile and nod next time you’re walking past each other, and see if anything in her behavior changes. Definitely don’t go talking to her and introduce yourself, this is the opposite of casual, and is, unfortunately, been repeated here several times, by people who are essentially theorycrafting. In reality, you’re putting her on the spot. That’s you getting very personal very quickly, out of nowhere apparently, in a place that is not made for it. Ideally, she will break the initial gym barrier verbally (because, again, it’s a gym, not a bar), and then you can feel more confident about taking things further.
Just say youve seen her around a few times and introduce yourself man. Adults can handle someone asking their name. There’s no need to overcomplicate things, you can tell if shes interested or not in an introduction and it’s not totally out of nowhere (and again, telling someone your name is not harassing them).
You won’t get kicked out of a gym for talking to a person. Jesus some of you people… If the idea of a person talking to you is so offensive stay home lol…