So me (20F) and my boyfriend (21m) were at a really important work event for an office opening celebration for a company where we are coworkers. He’s been working this job for 4 months and I have for 2, the job is great and I just happened to land in the same position with him.
This event was extremely important as people with higly important ranks from the company and the goverment would be present, our boss told us to dress our best and try to make some connections. I prepared mentally and physically for this event, I planned my outfit hair and make up in advance as well as preparing converssation topics as Im not the most extroverted but wanted to give a good impression to the people I met.
While in the event I managed to make conversation with really important people and overall was having a good time, I felt proud of myself for being able to talk without getting nervous (as I usually would) and got a lot of good comments about my appearance. Halfway into the event I went to check on my boyfriend to see how he was doing as I had been all around and not that much with our own group of coworkers.
I asked him how he was doing and first thing he told me was: ” Did you see that woman?” He asked, I then responded : ” The pretty one?” I assumed he was talking about an specific woman that standed out from everyone else. In an event that is full of mostly men in their 50’s this girl was pretty noticeable as she had pretty good looks, red hair, great figure and overall class and behaviour. So as I answered he responded with ” yeah that one, let me tell you if she talked to me and told me she wanted to leave this room I would be first to be running out the door with her..” Upon his answer I was shocked, in our relationship we’ve been pretty honest regarding what we think in the sense that, I dont expect that just because he is with me he is not allowed to view someone else and think they are attractive .
I personally don’t experience much attraction to pretty much anyone but I understand that we are human and while its imposible to not have those thoughts in mind I have asked him that he does not express those thoughts to me as they can result in hurtful comments. After he told me that I said quietly “thats not something you say to your girlfriend..” and left, i had to spend the rest of the event talking to people while holding back tears, worst part is our coworkers dont know we are a couple so i also couldnt have any support from the few friends I have made in the office. He has apologized since but I cant help but feel broken and ugly.
Its also not the first time hes made these kinds of comments, I’ve already had to clarify that I dont wish to hear what he thinks about other girls and in another instance I told him in regards to looks i thought we were pretty much equal however he questioned what I said and basically joked that he was better looking.
I spent the day after the office crying my eyes out but now I just feel numb, he says he spoke out of turn and without thinking and that he thinks I am the most beautiful woman but it doesnt really even matter to me now..
What do you think I should do? This is a pretty long relationship and when these slip ups happen I know its because he is just dumb and doesnt think about what he is saying.. i think?
Im so confused..