So there was this guy who I (22F) had a slight crush on back in high school whom I never shared eye contact with let alone a conversation. Fast forward some years later: he messages me.
After remembering who tf this dude was, I proceeded to be cordial with him and we… caught up, I guess? Literally 10 minutes later, here comes the h*rny. The conversation look a HARD left that lil ol’ virgin me was totally unprepared for.
Small thing about me: I’ve never dated. I’ve never been kissed, held hands, or really anything relating to romance. The farthest I’ve ever gotten romantically was verbal, but that was totally vanilla. All this sh*t is brand freaking new to me.
Now me being stupid and angry over a failed situationship, when this dude offers to schedule a late-night appointment, I actually accept it. For a few nights after that, he was messaging me asking what’s up? But he was nowhere near disrespectful or pushy, just anxious to do some sh*t that I wasn’t very keen to partaking in off the rip.
I got nervous and never got back to him, plus I let him know I’m in school and too focused to be just messing around with any random people right now. I felt dumb after a while because what if that was my only chance at intimacy, but also conflicted over the fact that I did the right thing at my young age and that I’ll have plenty of time for these things later.
[Plus, that one Tank and the Bangas “this boy in my dms” line kept replaying in my head and suddenly my self-worth was called into question 💀.]
My main thing is though—is it worth it to hold out and find that significant other to have a special moment with anymore, or just follow the new norm and hookup with randoms? No dates or conventionality.