(im 21M, my mother is 50F and brother is 15M) we currently live in a home that we can barely afford, we depend on my mothers husband (who is abusive, cheating and eventually going to move) so the two of us have been trying to get jobs. its me, my mom and my 15 yo brother.
she hasnt had a job in over a decade, so shes super anxious, nervous and overall paranoid. i am looking for a new one currently as my old one was toxic. my brother eventually wants to get a job as well to help support. my point is, i eventually want to move out with my boyfriend (like, now.) but i dont know how to when my mother cant afford to live alone.
its not just that, either. my mom is severely depressed, and from my father passing and her new husband cheating on her so much and abusing her – she wants to just give up. the only reason i havent moved is because im terrified. my mother doesnt do anything asides sit in the house all day or sleep. She doesnt go out a lot, and is so severely severely depressed. she will not get help, or ask her doctor for possible meds to help her mental stuff (she took pills before but stopped over a decade ago, i do not know why) and she has been very vocal about just wanting to stop existing. im scared she will do something if i move out, i really am the only person she talks to everyday asides her sister and one or two mutuals she has. but otherwise, moving out would make her only more alone and its terrifying me.. my brother does not really talk to her a lot either, so she is just alone all the time. it makes me feel horrible, but i want to spend time with my bf and friends and i know i should hang with her more but with past abuse she had put onto me, i just dont want too. i love her so much, with all my heart, but i dont want to do much else .. where my bf and i want to move isnt really close close to this current house but just even living in a different house makes me worried. we thought about finding a place to house me, my bf, mom and my brother but i just want to be with my bf. ive been trapped in this house for years from her own paranoia that the world is out to kill me. i want to be an adult, i want to live my bf and be happy for once in my life.
i dont know what to do, im suffocating in this house, for my own mental health i need to get out but i cant just leave my mom. what do i do? its stressing me out so badly that i cant sleep.
tl;dr my mom is poor, has no job, cant afford to live on her own and i want out