I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple weeks now. After many conversations with him I decided to restart my birth control. Mostly because he can’t stay hard or finish with a condom on. Well, yesterday I woke up feeling horrible, as many women feel after starting birth control.
The next few paragraphs are examples of things that all happened in one day. On the day that I was very vocal about how gross I was feeling due to my birth control. So feel free to skip past some of them.
• I texted him that I feel gross and he responded with the laughing face emoji and “noted don’t piss you off”.
• I then ran out of non dairy butter for my cinnamon toast and burnt my sausage. I texted him this too and even sent him a picture of the box going into the garbage. At this point he was leaving work (which is right next to a supermarket and my house is down the block). I was hoping that he would pick up on it and grab me some butter to drop off. Nope. All he said was “Our job has free butter…oh wait you can’t have that lol. Find something else to eat and don’t have cinnamon toast.”
• A bit later I was feeling even worse and I texted him “I’m so dizzy, I hate this” and he responded “take Tylenol”. I literally responded back “tf is Tylenol gonna do”. And he just said “idk”.
• Later on I was a work. We planned for him to come to my house after work. Take a shower, do homework, and hop into bed. While I was at work I texted him that I was craving sushi. I texted him this three different times throughout the conversations we were having. I was hoping he’d offer to grab me some since o was stuck at work and he wasn’t doing anything. Nope.
• When we got him it was more of all the same. In the shower I went to go hug him and hold him, for comfort. And he kept pushing me away saying that he wanted to get out of the shower. At first he said bc I had homework to do. When I told him that it’d take ten minutes he started talking about how he wanted to get out because he didn’t want the skin on his fingers to shrivel up and how he doesn’t like the feeling.
• I sat down at my desk to do homework and asked him to have a seat. I was referring to me sitting on his lap while I did homework, like we’ve done in the past. He said “nope”. When I asked again and finally asked why not he said because he wanted to be comfortable in bed.
• A couple minutes later he said he was going out to get snacks. I kinda rolled my eyes. But okay. I was hoping that he’d come back with something for me, something I like, or something I can have at the very least. Nope he came back with m&ms. Which have dairy. So I can’t have them.
• Once I finished my homework I got into bed. He stayed facing the other way with his earbuds in watching something on his phone. I play punched him on the back a few times to let him know that I was there. He ignored it. I tickled him once. He just told me to stop. So I laid there staring at the ceiling. Even once he put the phone away. He stayed facing the other way for a long time. Then turned around and made a pathetic attempt to “cuddle” me by putting his arm under my pillow. I told him that was uncomfortable and he tried to move it up an inch. Told him that was still uncomfortable and that I didn’t want his arm under my pillow. He scoffed and groaned. I then tried to show him how I wanted to be touched…litterally just a hand on my side. And he started whining about how that was too warm for him and how uncomfortable it would be. And that was the end of any attempts to cuddle me.
**SOME THINGS TO NOTE:**
He’s not using me for sex, we barely have sex. And that’s at his wish, not mine.
He doesn’t make any advancements to me I always have to do it. Except he doesn’t like being touched in certain ways at certain times. So it’s a guessing game if I should or shouldn’t touch him at any given time. I’ll give him a hug from behind and he’ll peel my arms off of him and almost throw them to the side. Other times he’s begging me over and over again to lay on top of him. This goes for sexually too.
Also…and this is **VERY IMPORTANT** to note. It’s not like this is a once sided thing. On a day that he failed an important exam I brought a donut to his house, cuddled him while telling him everything would be okay. I offered to come sit with him, and have multiple times while he’s charging his car (damn teslas). I make advancements to hug him and touch him, sexually or not. And he doesn’t. I do all the things for him that I want him to do for me. I’m constantly giving giving giving, and he’s not giving back.
I don’t think he’s intentionally doing anything to hurt me. But I don’t know what to do. Is this a conversation? How do I bring it up? Or is this the end?
TLDR: the guy I’m seeing isn’t making any effort or doesn’t know how to show that he cares. Take a look at the five love languages. On a bad day that he had, I checked off 4 of them. On a bad day I had, he checked off none.