so i (m21) have been with my girlfriend (18f) for about 6 months now. as far as i know she was a virgin when we met, and we now have sex about 3-4 times a week. it’s good, but there seems to be some problems for her, and i’m just confused as to what’s going on.
now, to preface, a lot of the time we do have sex with zero issues, but there’s also been a lot of times with a lot of issues. it’s starting to become more often and i’m worried about her.
basically, during the foreplay she’s really into it, and everything is great (i don’t think i’m ending that too early, as i only move to actual sex when she says she’s ready). then for the first 5 or so minutes of sex, she’s really into it, and everything is great. then after that, absolutely nothing with me will change, yet everything about her entire changes.
it always starts by her saying “that hurts” so i’ll switch positions and she says it again, so i ask if she’s okay, she says yes, then a few seconds later says it again. i of course ask if she wants me to stop, and she says no and that she’s fine, and then i tell her i don’t want to hurt her, because i don’t, and she says that i’m not and to just keep going. so i do, but she then goes silent and stares at whatever’s in front of her until i cum, with the blankest, dullest face i’ve ever seen. and the last few times, she broke out into literal tears while i was finishing, yet refuses to tell me what’s wrong, and when she’s not ignoring me, she just says again that everything is fine. i obviously ask her why she’s crying or why she’s sad every time anyway, and she literally acts as if she can’t see or hear me and just keeps staring at the wall, then randomly starts sobbing and apologizing and is all over me like 10 minutes later.
she’s mentioned before that she has PTSD, but hasn’t told me what from. i know that she lived with just her dad in russia until she was 14, and hasn’t spoken to him since moving to america, so it’s possible that their relationship was rocky and caused her issues? she’s also not in therapy, but has talked about possibly trying it for some other mental health issues. we talk very openly about pretty much everything else, so i can’t understand why she is so closed off about what’s causing this big issue in our relationship.
i haven’t had sex with her for the last few weeks, since she’s clearly not in a place for that right now, and now she thinks i’m not attracted to her anymore, though i’ve made it very clear that her issue with sex is why i’m not doing it. she also said that she’s fine with sex and wants it, to which i said that she’s not and doesn’t, to which she said that i need to trust her, to which i said that i do trust her, but dont think that she knows what she wants right now, and then she freaked out and started crying and apologizing for “not doing what she’s supposed to do.” (wtf i’ve never said or done absolutely anything that could lead her to believe sex is what she’s supposed to do). i don’t want to make her feel bad about whatever her problem is, but i genuinely don’t understand what the deal is or why she’s like this all of the sudden, and it’s really hard to see her hurt by something that used to bring us closer and that she used to really enjoy.
if anybody out there has had a similar experience, any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. thank you!