I’ve noticed a repetitive problem at work where male coworkers will attach themselves to me and start monologuing about random stuff about their hobbies, opinions, etc etc. I guess because I “look nice”, or they think I am their mother, or that they are impressing me, or just want to talk. It’s definitely something that becomes bothersome after a while, because they are just talking at me and seem to not care what my opinions or experience is, whether I agree or disagree, and half the time it is things that are boring to me.
Sometimes it is more complicated, like when someone is kind of a friend so you want to start by giving them leeway, or if they are higher in the company and I feel it’s in my interest to suck up a little. However in at least one case that kind of blew up where this one guy was continually talking at me, ignoring my increasingly pointed statements that I was busy, and finally I had to tell him to stop bothering me, and now he’s sulking and acting like he’s 6 rather than 60, which isn’t great.
I’m not sure how common this is. I had another female coworker tell me that she just “bites her lip” in some case. It seems like she gets taken advantage of at work generally, so that doesn’t encourage me to do the same.
Basically I don’t want being excessively snappy to get in the way of my career or making friends, but I really just hate this. The way I see it, if you are just talking at me repetitively, this is a one way transaction, and you better be giving me money or in some other way making it worth my while, because feeling like a silent gaping ear hole is not a good feeling. I already feel somewhat not seen, valued, disempowered etc and while it’s nice to support others, it makes me feel resentful when it’s a one way street.