Hey, I’m 20M and i returned to my uni after 2 years at home(covid). Safe to say I might be one of the most socially awkward people over here. I was never an extrovert but staying in solitary for 2 years my social skills even worse. I consider myself a geek and hate that attribute of mine….i mean what good are anime and video games when you don’t have anyone to talk to.I graduate in 6months and don’t have a friend group, or a girlfriend or any crazy college experiences that i can look back to.
I don’t have many friends..5 people who are ‘close’ since i know them since freshman year and they have their own girlfriends and friend groups they go and hang out with. While i stay in my room most of the time, i want to live like them but find it embarrassing to go out on my own. I also I’m super insecure about how i look, i was ridiculed as a kid and started losing hair two years ago which made it even worse. I’m undergoing hair treatment but it will take atleast 6months to show any affects. I wear a cap all the time and people know about it and few even made fun of it. All this makes me feel like shit and a worthless person.
Today one of my friends introduced me to one of his friends (girl) and i couldn’t talk…i tried to be myself and discuss about the test we had today and even tried to be funny but i think she did not enjoy the conversation as she was talking to my friend most of the time while i was third wheeling.
While i do concede i can’t talk to girls…i have this problem with dudes as well. I go awkward and can’t talk. Even if i ask them something they answer and stop talking. it’s like I’m not cool or funny enough for them. Further making me insane. I want to meet and join a friend group but who would like to have a awkward kid in their friend group which formed 2 years ago.
I’m tired of being miserable and want to change my life around. More importantly i don’t want to be a loner. I plan on doing masters in US after i graduate and want to change my life around as soon as possible.
I wish I could ask my friends for help but it’s pathetic and always gets me into trouble as they tend to disclose it to public even for very insignificant amount of help. (I could give an example if y’all are interested)
Any pointers are appreciated. Thanks
4 comments
Watch tykwondoe on YouTube he’s great with explaining how to improve social skills and talking with women
i’m sorry you feel that way :c but i can understand you, school days were hard for me and it took me a long time to manage to fit in socially. i’m still incredibly akward xD but please don’t feel bad or worthless! you most definitely are not! on the contrary, you seem like a very likeable and lovely person! and being a geek is cool!!! i love meeting other geeks because they’re the best people to talk to 😀 you’ll definitely meet people who are like you and celebrate you for who you are (even if that sounds really corny ^^;) my best friend is more extroverted and i confided in her, she helped me a lot and accompanied me to parties for example. asking for help is not pathetic! (but i can imagine that the society is more cruel to shy men thanto shy women :c) can you maybe explain to your friends that they should not make it public?
The only way out of this is through the fire. Your awkwardness makes socializing uncomfortable, but socializing is the only way to develop your social skills.
My advice is to stop looking for a way out of this trap that doesn’t hurt. Take the painful route: push yourself out the door and go talk to people.
If your uncomfortable that means your learning. Stick with it, keep talking to people and eventually you will find someone that likes you.