Let me start off by saying I’ve never had penetrative sex, just pleasuring each other with our hands once so far. But we both noticed something, my partner prefers kissing much more than me, especially French tongue and slobbery etc.
He thought it was odd that I was so willing to feel around each others privates but didn’t want his tongue in my mouth. I guess it’s just odd to me because in my pov mouths are for eating. They are unhygienic, have smelly breath and feel and taste weird to the touch when kissing. I really want to get used to doing it more his style because I want him to feel comfortable like he makes me feel, but it’s just so gross to me to kiss that much to that degree while we’re focusing on other parts of our bodies.
It also may have something to do with the fact that the last person I kissed was when I was a kid and he forced it on me, and shoved his tongue into my mouth without my consent. I’ve told my partner this, but I don’t know how I would bring it up in this context without sounding like I’m just making an excuse not to do something so simple and universally enjoyed as deep kissing.
It makes me feel kind of alien to not enjoy something so many others do. How can I feel more comfortable doing something for his pleasure when I don’t necessarily enjoy it very much?