I (25F) have been with my fiance (34M) for a year and a half. We were engaged under my parents blessing. I’m staying with my parents, he got his own place, and we’re building a house together.
Recently we had a big fight and my fiance was depressed that he stayed in the room at my parent’s place all day. We got plans to go out for dinner with my parents and because of this, he didn’t want to go out. Instead of explaining to my parents, he decided to stay in bed and not talk to anyone. He’s under medication, and not 100% comfortable with my parents so I understand why he acted that way. But things escalated when in the morning he just left the house, still no explanation to my parents, just said hi and walked out of the house. My parents said that was disrespectful of him, and I agreed. We are asian and he’s caucasian so there is a cultural difference.
Now that he’s still calming down and will come over to talk to my parents, they want to cancel all engagement and wedding plans, forcing me to break up, saying that I can’t be with a man who can’t control his behaviour because of depression and showing disrespect to them. They said if I want to marry him, they are not going to the wedding and wont considering him as an in law. My fiance and I already solved our problems, and he said my parents get involved too much in our relationship.
What should I do?
5 comments
The 9 yr gap makes me think hes fetishizing you bc you’re Asian, also y’all are grown ass adults how are your parents influencing your decisions
“he said my parents get involved too much in our relationship.” Ding ding ding ding
You and he have sorted it out (mostly) and are adults. Your parents are emotionally blackmailing you.
Add to this sick dynamic that he is 9 years older than you and you can’t seem to make up your mind about what to do….
He will never be respected by your parents. That’s on them, not him.
Why are you not living with him as a united couple? That’s on you.
>he said my parents get involved too much in our relationship.
He’s right. Your parents don’t get to dictate that your relationship is over based on one event of ‘disrespect’.
He literally said hi to them, he didn’t ignore them, they’re expecting him to treat them with a level of respect fitting their culture without making an attempt to respect his (controlling the engagement)
When someone marries into a different culture, he has to honor the traditions of that culture. Your fiance has some work to do. Apologizing to your parents is a good place to start.