We’ve been together 4 years, so this is half of our relationship and it’s shaking me to the core.
I’ve not been unaware of problems in our sex life, but this is the first time I’ve actually heard how bad it is for her. Basically the gist of it is she hasn’t enjoyed intimacy with me since I started my SSRI’s 2 years ago.
I’ve tried everything to make it better for her. Toys, I’m on ceralisis, extended foreplay, mood setting, music, etc. I’ve tried to talk to her dozens of times about what she wants in bed and whats wrong with the sex but she doesn’t like to communicate because she’s “afraid she’ll make me sad.”
I’m at a loss to be honest. What little I’ve gotten out of her is that I get soft during sex. This is true to some extent, but my partner enjoying sex is really important for me and a turn on so when she clearly isn’t enjoying it it puts me out of the mood too. I’m trying not to let it show that this has me down because then she won’t tell me in the future when something’s bothering her. I just feel kind of defeated and really bad about myself. I really have nowhere else to talk about this so I was hoping to vent here and get some advice.
I know it’s a cliche on reddit but other than this there aren’t any issues in our relationship and everything is fantastic. I want to marry her someday I’m just afraid that she isn’t actually sexually attracted to me anymore despite her denying this. Please help, I’m begging.