For context, we have been together for the past 6 years now, own a house together, work full time, and both love each other. She is also on birth control.
We used to have a problem with almost never having sex 2 years into our relationship, it used to be 1x a month about a 2 years ago, for almost a year and that left me feeling very unwanted and just generally upset most days. When we talked it through (which definitely took some time) it picked up for a bit. We had a bunch of fun trying new things and all of that. But the past few months that has stopped dramatically.
When we do have sex now(4-5x a month max ) it is always very “rushed” and “lazy”. I do not mind that sometimes but in my eyes in can’t be every time. That’s what it is now. We have had our share of problems as everyone does and usually squash them. This is one that has not been “fixed” yet. We have grown on from that but are still not quite there. After a few months of this it again leaves me feeling unwanted. I don’t mind a quickie or lazy sex, but I want to feel wanted.
I want my fiancé to WANT to have sex with me, the desire from her end is dead.
I want to know how others have fixed this problem. Is there suggestion on stuff to try? How do I bring this up to her? I can be a bit brash when I bring stuff up so any advice is welcome.