My husband and I have been married for 19 years. We have always been that couple where we can talk things out and move on. In the past my husband has been unfaithful and I have forgiven him. To start off… he meet a girl on a game online they where talking. He decided to introduce me to her and wanted to make it a 3 some. I agreed but was apprehensive. Come to find out they where saying I love you to each other. I asked if he loved her and he said yes. I wanted it to end but of course it didn’t. She left after a while because her husband who supposedly was OK with everything took the kids and left. When she contacted him a couple months later he wanted to talk to her alone. I was pissed. Than they continue to talk me saying I’m uncomfortable with it but do what you want. He opened up to me and asked me to be More appreciated. Ok I can do that. For a week I tired to go out of my way to make sure I was. I had decided to ask him not to talk to this girl anymore. It’s toxic to her marriage toxic to ours because I am hurt and it needs to stop. He had always told me in the past he would stop talking if I ever asked. Well he was frustrated. He no longer wanted or needed anything
“My main problem”As time went on I came to learn from him that I make anything he dose unejoyable. He no longer has the want to do anything or take anything.
Example…… when he dose out I ask how long will you be? when are coming back? Oh I didn’t realize that was tonight? If I call to say hi or ask a question?
Example…… he was playing video games in the 3rd story all day would come down to eat and pick the kids up from school. Because I said i was worried about him and mention he dosnt do anything else anymore I am telling him wjat to do and taking what he enjoys.
Last example…. he went to the Appalachian Trail to hike. He was there wuth another girl hikier. He was to be gone 3months. The roof was getting replaced. The water heater went out the gas was leaking in the house. I had so much work to do I was in the ER a week before. I feel over a dog gate. I was overwhelmed and thought I could cry to him. I need you here I miss you and there’s so much going on. Your there and I’m here and am overwhelmed. We’ll I took his enjoyment out of evr wanting to go to the trail.
Now he no longer wants or needs anything but says I can give it if I want.
He is ok with the situation he says I have accepted that I am just here to here.
I do not make him happy he is only FINE and he is ok with that to according to him.
He says I will not change and cannot change.
He says he tired to do something 2 times already for him self and I made it unenjoyable. (The comments above video game and trail.)
He acme home from the trail and decided sleeping in the 3rd story was a good idea to give me space and he has been doing things around the house.
He wants me to be ok with him just being FINE amd wants me to accept how things are and move on.