I went to this asian massage parlor and had sex with this hooker i didnt even find attractive. She literally wasnt cute or anything.I actually cried afterwards. I did it because I was lonely and never dated meanwhile all my friends and classmates have dated, kissed, or had sex, and no, a lot of them arent lying.
And yeah I know many peoples first times are “bad” but please dont bring that up. Mine was just outright fucking pathetic and disgusting. Many guys at least do it with a girlfriend, a friend, or a cute girl they met at a party, or college or something.I cant stand living with my decision.
Part of me doesnt even ever wanna date or have sex again.
if I ever get a girlfriend or any future partners, I will have to either tell them how my first time went or lie to their face about it. I fucking despise the woman who took my virginity. I know it wasnt her fault. I despise myself even more.
EDIT: I wanna make something clear. This is NOT a fucking karma farming or “kink”story.and yeah, I made the same post in different subs because I am fucking desperate for advice and comfort and I feel lonely and have no one to turn to.
EDIT 2: bro… why does the fact that I posted the same thing in different subs bother some of you so much. if youre spending so much time on reddit you run into the same posts, get a damn life or just block me so you dont see me anymore.
also, If you dont any advice or comfort to give me please dont comment on my post at all!!