So I found out this past December that my wife was openly flirting with guys at her previous work and had multiple “work husbands” also grinding on them when she would go out for drinks after work. This was 4 years ago and it kills me that I didn’t address it back then but I trusted her and even though I knew something weird was going on. So I went through her phone and found texts confirming that she was in fact doing these things and we had a huge fight. Two actually. Now we are somewhat good, I asked her straight out of anything more than just flirting and grinding was going on and she said no. But she had deleted every single text between her and nick( the one I felt weird about and thought maybe something may have happened between them.) Also she said she doesn’t remember a lot of things that happened during that time as it was 4 years ago.
Now I find out by going through her phone, ( I have only gone through her phone twice in 10 years and both times my suspicions were confirmed.) Not even 90 days after those fights where I made it extremely clear I was uncomfortable and felt disrespected by her having work husband’s and openly flirting with men at work she texted her female coworker that she needs to work on her impulse flirting issue…. then her coworker said aw he’s your work husband. She laughed it off with an lol and hoped that she( her coworker) would turn her work husband into her real husband. Now, I out of respect don’t text call or flirt with anyone especially coworkers. Am I freaking out for now reason, is it harmless and I need to grow up or should I be concerned that she may have or will cheat on me at some point??
Are these red flags?