Some background information, we both met each other 6 months ago while living abroad. Since we both have no family in the country we live in we both depend a great deal on each other. His visa is more stable than mine so he’ll help me with those things while i help him financially. I gladly do it because i love him very much however It’s come to a point where he barely pays anything and lives with me for free while I’m basically doing all the house work and am a full time student. This has made me feel invalidated taken for granted and disrespected as all he does is get angry at me over little things.
Now this is how we got where we are now :
I went to visit my family 2 months ago and he would come visit my family too in the 2nd month. The first month he lived in my apartment for free, in this month he also gave up his own apartment and moved all his stuff towards my house, he asked if he should bring his couch or not. To which i replied “since i left you’ve taken a lot of stuff to my place and i can’t vision what it looks like right now. I don’t want my place to be too cluttered so if you think it won’t be you can bring it.” To which he got super angry. He said i could’ve just said no and hinted at me being insecure. In fights i try to resolve things while he’ll only get angry at me and won’t speak to me for hours because he is “tired of me”.
He asks me to tell him if something is wrong but will get all defensive if i do tell him. Right before he came to visit me i told him this as well thinking he’d be mature enough to realize and at least acknowledge that instead he got so angry and told me he says things to get a reaction out of me ( implying he wants me to point it out instead of trying to stay calm ) he says I’m oblivious. This was all after i helped him get a credit card and while i was helping him it seemed like he couldn’t be bothered even seemed upset with me. He didn’t even say thank you or acknowledge i was helping him, he was living in my apartment and all just got taken for granted.
I ended up calling him because he had ignored me for a day and he was going to leave to my country literally the next day so i forgave him. I said i didn’t wanna fight i just wanted to be okay.
When he came here everything seemed to be going okay the first week but then we got invited to my brothers birthday party. I loved this because we share friends and he would see who was important to me. My friends all tried their hardest to speak to him in english but he ended up on his phone on the couch the whole night. At one point he went outside in the dark i thought he was maybe overwhelmed so i just went to sit with him. He got upset at this and told me to just go have fun inside. I told him this upset me as i had told him how important it was for him to meet the people i grew up with. He said he couldn’t care less about meeting them that it wasn’t important to him and that he only invited me with him to his friends because he knew i would be sad otherwise but that he really didn’t want this. I apologized and went inside.
Fast forward a week we go to paris a whole trip i organized for us even included disney. He asked me something and I aperently gave too much of an explanation which made him say I shouldn’t do it because it angers him and makes me seem insecure. It was the first morning there and that ruined my mood so bad.
A week passes we’re back in my home country and he says that he doesn’t have feelings for me and that he believes love is not about feelings but a conscious decision to be loyal to me. That he thinks my kind of love is not real because i feel too much. I’m a very emotional person and that just hurts to hear. He said it in a way that makes sense but i can’t help but feel hurt.
A few days later today we sent a gift to his mother and when at the post office he asked if the name of who he sends its to needs to be his or his mother. I said “your mom, the one who recieves” he got upset again saying i over explained and am insecure. Then asked me why i wanna go back to the country we live in so i gave him the answers and he just went “stop over explaining”.
But i really don’t get it.. how does this make me insecure? I love him so much but i feel like i have to tiptoe around him. Can anyone give advice?
TL;DR boyfriend says i over explain things and that makes me insecure but his reasoning doesn’t make sense to me