Throwaway
I have been having an argument with my girlfriend for 2 days. We have been dating for a year now and just moved in with each other. I think maybe we just want different things in the relationship but she is feeling like I don’t care about her.
Our argument is that I think that I just want the freedom to be able to do things I want to be able to do, like go to hang out with friends on the weekend for a few hours, go to the gym, play soccer. We just moved in together, and I wasn’t expecting such a harsh reaction from her. I think that going to go hang out with a friend for a few hours on a weekend is OK even if it is multiple weekends. She feels like I am “forcing her to do something she doesnt want to do” if she wants to stay at home with me but isnt able to if i go out with friends for example. I try to say that I can drive her somewhere while I am out with my friends, or she can stay at home. But, since if she doesn’t want to do anything besides hang out with me, it is me forcing her to do something she doesn’t wanting to do. To me, it feels like the opposite, like I am being forced by her to stay at home with her or she isn’t happy. She is even invited to come hang out with me with my friends. A lot of my friends are even married and have their partner over too when I go hang out with those friends. But, she doesn’t want to do that either sometimes.
I feel like I still spend most of my free time with her and it isn’t enough. I spend week nights and at least 1 weekend night with her but it isn’t enough. That is me “abandoning her”. Since we only have the 1 car, my car. (She doesn’t drive) and I bought the car years before I met her. I feel like I am doing her a favor and something nice by offering to drive her somewhere while I am at my friend’s house (for example). But if she doesn’t want to go anywhere and she doesn’t want to be home alone, that is me forcing her. I just don’t get it. I don’t know if I am going crazy or something, but it doesn’t seem like I am making her do anything. She has the freedom to do whatever she wants. She is saying she is fighting to be with me, but I am trying to be away from her. That me going to the gym by myself is OK, but me hanging out with friends is different, that that is trying to be away from her. Even though I spend like 90%+ of my time with her that I am abandoning her somehow.
I feel like I just need some time to spend with friends and do other stuff to destress and such. I feel like it’s good for my mental health. I don’t really have family to spend time with.
TLDR; my girlfriend feels like I am abandoning her and I dont care about her by me hanging out with friends once a week for a couple hours.