Hey everyone, looking for some advice here. My partner and I have been together for three years, and while I’ve enjoyed our relationship, it’s been challenging as we’ve mostly been long-distance. Our sexual journey began with frequent video calls, but lately, things have changed.
Initially, my partner identified as asexual, but over time developed a sexual attraction towards me. However, for the past eight months, her libido has been on the decline, possibly due to stress. Our video calls have become less frequent, now happening only every other week.
I’ve tried expressing my feelings about missing our intimate connection, but every time we discuss it, she becomes emotional. I’ve reassured her that I love her and that sex isn’t the only important aspect of our relationship.
Recently, we moved in together for college, yet our physical intimacy hasn’t improved much. While I’m still deeply in love and desire her, she’s only in the mood once a week. I’ve attempted to find a middle ground, but she’s too emotional to engage in a productive conversation.
I miss the playful and adventurous side of our intimacy from when we first met. Now, sex feels routine and lacks excitement. My partner seems disengaged, and her lack of enthusiasm leaves me feeling unfulfilled.
To address some concerns: I would never pressure her into anything she’s uncomfortable with, and I’ve always tried to guide her and make her feel comfortable exploring new things. However, she seems less interested now, which worries me.
We’ve both experienced weight gain, and I’ve wondered if her decreased libido is related to her attraction to me. She assures me she still loves me and finds me attractive, but I can’t shake off the feeling of dissatisfaction.
I don’t want to end our relationship over this, as she’s an amazing person. But I’m tired of feeling unsatisfied and resorting to masturbation. What can I do rebuild our sexual life?