Hey-
I’m (F) a late bloomer and a virgin in my late 20s. I’ve dated a little, but haven’t been in a relationship, haven’t done more than make out with a guy. I consider myself sex positive and generally well informed about sex. I may start to date again soon, but realise I have no idea how to ACTUALLY approach STI testing before potentially sleeping with a guy. I’m not interested in casual sex, at least right now, so for my situation this would be within the context of a new/early relationship. If it matters, I live in the US in a state with good access to sexual health care.
I obviously plan to discuss sexual preferences, STI testing, values around consent and autonomy, but I’ve been thinking- how detailed do you get with the STI conversation?
Is it rude/abnormal to ask to see results or ask to go tested together (although I don’t know how much testing would apply to me since I’m a virgin) so I’m not taking someone’s word for it (and they’re not taking mine)?
What about asking exactly which STIs they’ve been tested for?
How accurate are results? I’ve heard about how time needs to pass sometimes before certain things show up on tests.
I don’t want to offend or push away a guy, and obviously some level of trust is important to me before sleeping with him. I just want to be SURE I’m protecting myself.
I do have a gynecologist I can ask about this, but I know that sometimes you have to know what questions to ask a doctor, and that sometimes doctors vary in what answers and options they give.
Thank you!