In our 17 yrs, I have many different times felt the lack of emotional security from my husband. Just a few examples: he had been close for comfort with a young female workmate (dropped her off to her house after work), made me wait for 13 yrs before he proposed, in some of my birthdays/our anniversaries he used to not give me a gift or I would be the only one preparing something special for us.
Throughout our relationship I always communicate my honest feelings when he did things that hurt me and he would get offended that he’s not doing anything wrong and I’m thinking otherwise. I would be in so much distress when our arguments escalate and couldn’t stop crying at times cause I know I care for him well but I get treated that way. When we’re good I feel he loves me but when our differences come up, I constantly feel that I want to leave the relationship for lack of communication and emotional support from him. He would abandon me when I’m in so much distress and when I get anxiety attacks he would blame it on my way of thinking. Our usual pattern would be we would talk after my breakdown and agree on doing better but the next argument would stem from the same reasons.
He treats other people in a good manner but sometimes when it comes to me, he treats me with short temper. Our last fight woke me up that this person is different from who I’ve known as my 1st bf and I feel I should really leave for my mental health. Do you have any advice for me? Thank you