TLDR: my ex’s dad treats me better than my own dad did and I don’t understand why he’s so appreciative of me
Sorry if the question is phrased badly, I’ll explain what I mean. (And ignore the typo in the title I wasn’t reading it back properly)
I’ve never had a dad-like figure in my life really. My actual dad is an alcoholic who would leave me sat alone in the pub when we would visit him (I haven’t seen him since I was 7), he put no effort in and still doesn’t pay child support for my younger siblings despite the fact he’s meant to. After speaking to a therapist I’ve realised he’s been partly the cause of a lot of the problems I’ve had in my life. My mum (who I live with) has had a few partners since then but none have really been ‘father figures’ as such, I never had a close relationship with them.
My ex’s dad is slightly different though. I was with her for over 3 years from the age of 15-19, and I was a big part of her family from pretty early on. They often took me on holidays, I was at their house usually 3 times a week for the first 2 years of our relationship (we go to different universities so I visited less although during holidays I came over as much as I could) and while I was shy around them, I would do my best to engage with them. I’m much more similar to her dad than her mum – we both love football, history, cooking, eating healthily etc. My ex ended up leaving a few months ago, I won’t go into detail there because it’s not needed but neither me or her family have been given a reason as to why she left although I’m confident I know why. I was very shy and didn’t talk to my ex’s parents loads which I regret but since she left I’ve been so much more open with them and they’ve been so accepting of me despite the fact I’m not involved with their daughter anymore.
I went to drop her stuff off at her parents’ before she came back from university and was expecting a short goodbye without much conversation, but I was wrong. I ended up staying for nearly an hour, talking about how I was doing and all of that stuff. They treated me like family even though my ex had left me. Before I left, they asked to stay in contact with me and I said I’d think about it. After a few weeks I met up with them, and they took me out for dinner. I asked her dad if they still wanted to see me regardless of my ex’s future relationships and he was adamant that he did. We then looked through old family photos, he took a look at my car that was playing up, showed me a recipe book he’d bought and even drove me home while my car wasn’t working.
Since then we’ve met a couple times and it’s genuinely been like having a dad, or at least what I feel like a dad should be like. We’ve gone out shopping, watched darts, he even watches sports that he doesn’t like when I’m around because he knows I like them. He’s also called me his son (I figured it was metaphorical as in you’re like a son to me) and we have more meetings planned – they want to take me bowling and he wants to show me how to make his favourite cake. He also serviced my car completely free of charge and offered to do the same for my mum. They’ve said so many nice things – saying I’m a strong man for what I went through with my ex as well as my dad and my grandparents (one of my grandads has recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s and he’s my other male role model, the other grandad unfortunately passed away in front of me when I was 14), as well as other stuff in my life. Her mum said I’d grow up to be an important man and that my ex was maybe making a mistake and the breakup wouldn’t be permanent (at the time I wanted her back like this but since then I wouldn’t take her back if you paid me).
Is this weird? I know many people don’t stay in contact with their ex’s families but because they asked I felt like it was rude not to, and despite losing my ex who meant the world to me and who I’m still not anywhere close to being over even 3 months in, I feel like I’ve gained a dad.