Sensitive question:
My (32f) current partner (29m) alleges that while drunk a few weeks ago, he made a d\*ck joke and that I responded by telling him that he is bigger than my ex. He brought it up recently and I kinda froze because, aside from the fact that I do not remember the conversation at all, he’s… well, he’s not.
Backstory: My ex and I had a really intense, passionate sex life, because we were just a short term situationship where we also happened to emotionally connect pretty strongly over time. We had sex multiple times a day, most days of the week, and we were very snuggly and otherwise physically intimate. My current partner is on medication that causes him to have a very low sex drive, and his autism causes him to have days where he can’t even stand to be touched or cuddled by me at all, nevermind physical intimacy. While I love him, we have had to have conversations about working to improve intimacy between us, as it’s my primary love language (intimacy in general, not necessarily sexual intimacy), up to and including discussing how compatible we are longterm. It’s an issue we’re actively working on in individual therapy and as a couple.
SO! He caught my panicked “I said what?” look, and immediately was like…. “I am, right? You said I was! I satisfy you, right, like, you prefer sex with me over the sex you had with him??” and I kinda brushed it off and was like “this is weird!! stop asking about my ex’s weiner, dude!” and made it into a joke. He seemed to believe that he just caught me off guard and that I was uncomfortable with the subject, but he’s brought it up (mostly jokingly) a few times since then and I can feel that he’s feeling a little insecure/ weirded out that I keep joking about it and not giving him a solid answer. Is this an okay thing to lie about? Like, it’s not as if he’s ever going to find out, right?? I just feel so gross thinking about lying to him about anything, and I’m a terrible liar so I’m worried that he’ll be able to tell and the situation will blow up. guidance! advice! please!!