Hey this is my first post in here and I was looking for some advice.
My partner is going through an insecure period right now and I’m not too sure how to reassure him or make him feel better. He is evidently sad and we’ve reached the point where he can say he’s upset and insecure, but doesn’t open up more past that: eg why or what things have pushed him into the spiral.
The main things I try to do are listen, physical contact / hugs and squeezes / being by his side, ask him ‘hey what are you thinking’ to try to get him to elaborate a bit, and offer him distractions eg tea, food, tv, talk about other topics
However, he tells me that I’m not very helpful and it breaks my heart that I can’t support him.
I have insecure periods more often than him and he’s gotten great at comforting me in my own sadness. However, he’s annoyed that I can’t seem to comfort him equally when he’s upset (and I’m obviously annoyed as well that I apparently suck at it). He seems to want me to say something but I’m not sure what it is he wants to hear
I feel like all the ‘tactics’ he uses on me can’t be used for him as he’s less open and doesn’t allow me to distract him with other topics.
Is there any advice people can offer on how I can be a more supportive partner?