I (20f) have been a member of an amateur student theater organization for the last year and a half. I’m not an actress by any means but I photograph rehearsals, make trailers for our plays, help our directors with organization and production, and control stage lighting during the performance.
This academic year has been especially hectic, we have two big plays in production, let’s call them Play X and Play Z. Play Z is being directed by my high school friend, let’s call her Maria (22f), whom I’m very close with. Rehearsals were to start in December, and in November I already asked my friend if I could be the producer on her play and she enthusiastically agreed. I also told her that I wanted to try to get into the Academy of Arts for theater production at one point, but I didn’t specify when, because I didn’t know at that point.
Since the beginning of December, we have had rehearsals every Saturday and Sunday from 10 am to 14 pm, the play is broken up into different scenes, so only the director, co-director and I have to be at all the rehearsals. On top of that, I have rehearsals for play X Sunday from 15pm to 19pm. It’s a lot of work, but I do it because I love it. At the end of last month, I decided to try for the Academy of Arts this year. We live in a small country and there is only one in our capital. For the entrance exam, you have to prepare a production analysis of a project you worked on previously, or if you haven’t, a potential project you would want to do in the future. I decided to do play Z as my entrance exam.
Yesterday I was walking with a group of friends, including Maria, and out of nowhere Maria just turned to me and casually said that she had good news, that her friend Jane (24f) wanted to get into the Academy of Arts for production and that she would be taking over my responsibilities
I was absolutely furious that after everything I had done for her project, she would toss me aside so easily two and a half months before our premiere date. I told myself not to react in the moment and to have a talk with her when we were alone.
Today, after rehearsal, I pulled her aside and told her we needed to talk. I expressed how frustrated I was with the situation. That I was the one who was there from day one, I am the one that is at every single rehearsal with her and I am the one that’s done everything both she, the other director, and the leader of the troupe have asked of me, excellently and on time, despite the fact that I am a full-time student and 2-3 years younger than anyone in the production team. The fact that she would replace me with someone else, halfway through production, as a favor to a friend that needs it for her CV really hurt me. I know I didn’t tell Maria that I wanted to analyze her play as my entrance exam, but I never could have anticipated that one of my best friends would bump me off so easily. For what it’s worth, Maria was really really apologetic, in her mind she was helping me lighten my workload and helping out a friend who asked for help with her ambition. At that point, she didn’t know that I also wanted to try for the Academy of Arts this year. She told me it’s up to me to decide what happens next and she’ll respect whatever I decide.
The Academy of Arts is extremely selective and difficult to get into. Play Z is a huge production and would go a very long way in anyone’s application. Now I have to decide, do I keep it for myself or give it to Jane….
Now here’s the problem, despite everything else, Jane is a wonderful and amazing person. I don’t know her well, but the few times we went out together I saw that she is a really great girl and I wish her nothing but the best. She is also in a complicated family situation, she is lying to her family that she is on her master’s degree when she hasn’t even finished her bachelor’s. This is the last year she is allowed to study for her bachelors before she can’t anymore. Getting into a new college is her best bet for avoiding a family fallout. From what I understand, it’s not her fault for not finishing college sooner, she had a horrible situation with an emotionally abuse professor that is making it very difficult for her to finish her bachelor’s.
I’m 4 years younger than Jane, so I have more options and more time on my hands. I have other projects on my hands that I could focus on, including play X (which is admittedly a much smaller production). Even though I really really want to, it wouldn’t be the end of the world for me if I don’t get in this year. But that doesn’t change the fact that I would be letting my competition take credit for months of my work purely out of the goodness of my heart.
All my life, I have done everything for other people, pushing my own needs and desires aside. I have been walked all over and screwed over more times than I can count, but still, I try to do the kind, emphatic thing at every turn for the sake of itself. But I don’t know what the right thing here is. I want to write about play Z because it gives me the best chance of getting in, even though I have other projects I could cover when Jane has none… Am I being too considerate? Am I not being considerate enough?