I’m a female junior in high school, and he is a senior, almost 18. I liked him in middle school (When we used to talk to each other) and then covid happened and I forgot all about him. But last year, I saw him more often and developed an interest in him. THE KEY WORD HERE IS INTEREST. I can’t like somebody that I don’t know or that I’m not at least almost friends with, and I find that a little weird that people have complete and total head-over-heels crushes on people they don’t even know. I don’t mean regular delusional crushed that you’ll never actually pursue like hallway crushed, but those people that you literally do not know and have never spoken to that confess their profound love for you. That I find weird.
But back to the point, I don’t like him per se. I am just interested. Recently I made the mistake of giving my phone to one of my friends, and she ended up sending him a message on Instagram. About a week has passed since then, so I’ll include the other replies as well.
Me (but my friend): hey \*\*\*\*\*\*, I know we don’t really talk and I hope you don’t find this weird but I just wanted to tell you that I have feelings for you and I hope you feel the same way.
Him: Im a bit caught off guard. is this serious? and regardless I may need a second to make a level-headed response I have a long test tomorrow
Me: Yes im serious but someone else actually wrote that for me because I was too scared and it’s worded a bit weird 😬 but take your time and good luck on your test!
Him: well to be fully transparent I don’t necessarily know you really. so I cannot genuinely say I reciprocate those feelings. I would have to be your friend first. I’m not the best at this
Him: and I’m just caught off guard frankly
Me: Yeah I completely understand. Like I said it was slightly exaggerated 😭 but I would like that
Me: I’m not the best at this either lol
Him: yeah I’m not gonna lie I’ve been reluctant to confront this conversation but that’s a me thing
Him: but friends is a good thing, and as a friend I’ll most likely won’t have access to normal phone stuff while in \*\*\* until I get back on \*\*\*\*\*\* or so
And then we continued to have a normal conversation. But, the thing is, he hasn’t responded in a while. Around a week. As I wrote in the message to him, this was exaggerated. I understand him being off-put, as I would be too. He’s also a little awkward, and I’m also not the best at conversation. I didn’t say anything bad here or later on (I don’t think) I was just saying how I’m getting all of his messages and we both asked each other a couple of questions etc. I also understand he’s on a trip, but my friends who are also on that trip have been texting me using Instagram and posting stuff on their stories the entire time. I’m just thinking that he isn’t the least bit interested atp. But, I also haven’t done anything to let him know that I’m interested, as I also get really nervous and just don’t react to people I’m attracted to. I’ll pretend they don’t exist unless they speak to me directly. And even then, I won’t seem very interested as I’m trying my hardest not to show that I am interested.
Something of that sort happened towards the end of last year. We were on a school trip, and he approached me and started asking me some questions about school. The entire time my heart was almost beating out of my chest, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t smile once. I also didn’t make any eye contact with him (at the time I just didn’t want my neck to hurt because this guy is 6’4″ and I remember how much my neck used to hurt when always talking to him. However I was much shorter then as well) and I ended up sort of ‘running away’ because I couldn’t think of anything to say. He would ask me something, I would answer, I would ask him the same thing back, he would answer, and then silence. And that repeated at least 5 times. I can definitely understand why he wouldn’t be interested after I literally showed him I wasn’t.
But once again back to the topic, I’m wondering if I should just give up and pretend this never happened, or if I should just wait still? And if I do wait, should I approach him first? I won’t see him for another week and a half as he’s on that trip, but I just am not sure if I should even be trying because that’s kind of a weird situation. School for seniors also ends on April 18th, and that’s only a month away. It wouldn’t be worth either of our time to try to start hanging out.