I can’t get over this. Last night I saw my boyfriend. We are both in our mid twenties. I started my dream job but will have to move away from our city where we found each other. He is truly my dream person. And my soul feels at ease since I met him. I think he is the one. Short history: I witnessed as a kid how my father tried to commit suicide bc my mom wanted to leave him. My ex kept telling me how I am the only thing in his life that he lives for. I grew up with constant fear of hurting people by accident if the love me too much. So I don’t want anyone to be dependent too much on me. My new boyfriend was at a very lovey moment and said, that he is so in love and that he is happier when I’m around than when I am not. Idk why but my brain started with my anxieties and apparently my face changed. He knows I want a future with him and love him deeply, but I just got scared bc of my previous relationship. I didn’t mean to make him feel like he loves me too much. When he saw my face and asked what’s wrong I said nothing I just don’t want you to be dependent on me too much bc I always remember my suicidal ex. And I apologiesed but he left although it was the middle of the night around 4am. I begged him not to. I called him later to apologise again and he said all of a sudden this wouldn’t have happened if he had money. And how I could say to his face that the beautiful things he said to le scared him. And that the problem is that it is scary for him to be with a special person like me. He is now deeply disapponted in me because he says I am a modern woman and just want to obtain my freedom by not being too responsible for his feelings. Idk what else to do anymore