So, here’s what I want to do:
I can’t make it to coworker A’s birthday drinks today and I was thinking about asking coworker B about gift ideas for later in the week.
I feel bad about having to miss drinks because I’m not the only one who has had to drop out, and coworker A is stressed after moving house. For context it is a chill and friendly work environment and I am at that awkward stage with my coworkers where we are almost friends but not quite. I’d like to be friends, and flaking on birthday drinks at the last minute isn’t helping.
So, I want to get them a gift – something small, probably edible -I don’t want to give them a weirdly expensive gift or anything, just something nice to show I care and want to be friends. But I don’t know them that well.
Coworker B, on the other hand, is quite close to them. Potentially… very close? I haven’t asked – honestly it looks a bit like a situationship. They’re probably the best person to ask about A’s taste in confectionary but would it be weird? Should I just ask A directly, or would that be too direct and would A feel duty bound to say I shouldn’t get anything? Or should I find a different coworker to ask?
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Or am I overthinking the whole thing and honestly any of those actions are okay? I like getting things for people, I really do, but the act of gift giving has SO MANY social pitfalls.
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