Hey guys. I’m having an issue recently that has never been an issue with any of my pervious partners before my now current partner.
I’ve had several relationships and even an 11 year marriage and I’ve always been timid and shy in bed. I’m not sure if it’s the way I grew up (shamed for sexuality) or it’s my lack of self esteem or confidence in my skills and fear if rejection. Not sure what the deal is.
That being said, I do LOVE sex and I’m a very sexual individual. I don’t go long without having it and I come fairly easily from PIV.
My previous partners never had an issue with my shyness. I wouldn’t describe it so much as shyness as more of I have a really hard time initiating, and I like being told exactly what to do and then I’ll do whatever I’m told. Literally. I’m down for anything but please tell me what to do. Even anal.
My previous partners never had an issue with this. They would tell me what to do and I felt like I’ve had great sex with all of my past partners.
I’ve been with my current bf [37 M] for 8 months now. He gets very frustrated at me bc I don’t initiate sex, I don’t randomly grab his dick or randomly start blowing him, he doesn’t like to tell me what he wants me to do he just wants me to do it. But he also says some things about my skills that make me feel so self conscious of doing any of those things he wants me to.
I’ll sit in bed and try to work myself up to just start something bc of course I want to have sex. I want to every damn day, especially with him bc I’ve had the best sex with him then I’ve ever had in my life. So I’ll try to be like just do it and before I can work myself up to doing anything he just jerks off next to me. Because he said he’s tired of initiating so he won’t do it anymore.
I’ve explained to him I’m really not sure what my mental block is but it’s actually a huge mental block. It’s almost a fear of mine. And then the way he makes me feel bad about my skills makes me not want to even more. The more he says anything about “you never touch me” it makes me want to do the opposite and actually not touch him.
I’m not sure what to do or how to go about this or if it’s even fixable at this point? I love him and we don’t have many issues outside of this. Literally we had sex everyday, multiple times a day for about 7 months and it was so good. He recently quit his job two months ago and is still out of work and things have been a little tense but other than that, our only issue is this.
So, how do I get over this “shyness” even with someone I’m extremely comfortable with and love so much?
Any tips and tricks on getting better and blow job’s and hand jobs? He has a bigger one and I can’t fit it all in my mouth but I just feel like I am terrible at it but I just want to he good for him.