(M18, F18)My friends screwed me over on a recent relationship. What to do?
So about two weeks back, i (M18) asked this girl out, we will call her L(F18). The problem was, one of my closer friends wanted to date her as well. One friday i asked her out, i talked to him about her a hour or so beforehand, and we both knew it was risky for either of us to date her. He thought i wasnt after her, and he kept going for her, going as far as to have a whole board of people helping him, someone talking to her was trying to make him look good, one sharing his many years of experience, and even asking her ex (of 6 months) for advice on getting with her. I, had most of the odds against me, it was another friend (who was neutral) and myself and yet i still got with her. For the one weekend we dated, i was happy, and i didn’t have to care about anything but her. On monday, she asked me if, before we started dating, i talked bad about others to help myself. I didn’t fully understand and said kinda, even though i didn’t. I spent the whole week trying to save it and clarify. This caused a whole back lash against me, and eventually my friend, and his friends, all forced that onto me, and eventually had gaslit me into thinking i did it all on purpose. They all manipulated me into thinking i was a liar, and i betrayed my friend, and that i even played mastermind on the whole situation, building up to the dating part. Now, L is very gullible, and so what im starting to think is that someone that was helping my friend, spoke to her, and convinced her against me, so basically, they were the liars, they were playing mastermind, and they also broke the bro code. Ive talked to a friend recently about this, and he said that i was “lying about the friday part, and that i strongly suggested, and almost said not to date her. This just further supports my point, that my friend was the liar, because i told him that for both of us, it most likely wouldnt work out, and that i liked her. He also said its toxic to have her mean so much to me.
I want to get back with her because she made me so so so happy, but at the same time she let me sit there for a week in false guilt. Thats a big question i have too, I willing to forget this, for her, but should I? I feel like i deserve a second chance, just to prove they were wrong. To prove myself a good person. What should i do? Any thoughts? Ideas? Feel free to ask for more details on any of this.
More of a follow up on this:
I left a letter in her instrument case(ill copy it below) and she hasn’t found it yet. Should I rush it and tell her about it? Maybe let her find it eventually? What ideas or opinions do you wonderful people have for me?
Heres the letter:
In all honesty, talking to you helped a lot. However, I’m still struggling to get this all to an end, or even a new beginning. The thing is, I need you to help me with it. I’d like to see what I actually did wrong, then find a way to fix it. Next thing is, well, I’m still madly in love with you. I have tried each and every method possible, and I just can’t stop thinking about you. I know, this is really, really gross for me to be this obsessed, but it’s on you for being so perfect. I know I may have shown some red flags, like obsession, and whatnot, but I have my reasons (not excuses). I just want you to know that, I could easily fill a hundred pages trying to get somewhere. But I respect your time, so I’ll get to the main point. May I become a part of your life again? We don’t have to go straight into it, maybe take a few steps back if you like. I know for sure I’d rather retry a few things, like meet your parents first. But I would be grateful to start from any point, however, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Whatever you want, I will fulfill, to the last letter. All of this will be your choice, please, if there’s anything you want to say, I’m not far.
Let me know if this could use work as well.