I(24f) have been engaged to my boyfriend(27m) for two months now. We had been dating for 19 months prior to that. He had temper issues but he has changed quite a bit since the start of our relationship. Everything was great until yesterday when his family had invited me over to join them for shopping for their new house. I was exhausted from the previous night as I had slept for less than 5 hours and it was a Sunday, it’s just the weekend that I get to really relax and catch up on sleep. I expressed this to him and asked if I could join them later because they planned a whole day of shopping. He simply would not listen and I gave in. The day went smoothly, I was out with them from 9.30 to 6.00 pm when that happened.
After the shopping we were having snacks and suddenly his mom asked why I wasn’t pursuing an exam that I was preparing for earlier. I just looked at him thinking he would explain but he started shouting at me “why are you looking at me like that” it was so rude I was shook for a few seconds and I couldn’t contain it. Down came my river of tears in front of everyone at the table, I put my head down and no one said anything, nothing. Like it didn’t happen. Then there was a 1.5 hour ride back home before which his younger brother asked me to makeup to him. I was utterly shocked. During the ride my bf was sitting next to me the whole time, he did not say a single word to me.
When we arrived at my place, I thanked his mom and dad for having me and the bf and his brother dropped off some stuff at my house. The brother left and my bf wouldn’t leave. I politely told him that I didn’t want to see him but he wouldn’t leave. After sometime I even put his bag outside my house but he still wouldn’t leave. Somehow he got me to talk and he asked “what is your problem?”.
My problem? Really? That man had no remorse whatsoever and the fact that his mom said that he talks to me like that too during the ride back made me understand where I was standing, all alone surrounded by people who think it’s okay for men to yell at women.
You’d think why did I even look at him when asked to answer the exam question, it was because he believes that I wouldn’t do well in that area and I’m built for IT. It was more of his decision than mine, that’s why I had looked at him.
Anyway I think that this is too toxic for me that it’s not just him but his entire family siding with him. I don’t know what to do? We were supposed to get married in July. Now I am really revaluating this relationship.
If you’re reading this line I’m sorry that I couldn’t make this short and concise.