me (18F) and my boyfriend/situationship/LDR (19M)… I have been talking to this boy for quite some time now; but let me give you guys an inside to the lore…
we first started talking in 2022 no label, but still referred to each other as our SO and talked every single day for around 8 months then out of the blue he ended things with me stating that it was for his mental health, and other mumbo jumbo ect… then fast forward about five months he breaks no contact
since then we have been together going on a year, still no label but again refer to each other as bf/gf even husband and wife… we have been happy and everything is good, no arguments or fighting, very romancy, about two months ago he asked to go on a break due to his mental health I told him I didn’t want to but I still agreed to go forth,(I know he’s always struggles has BPD, dissociates, not the best home life ect) we went on this said break and it didn’t even last a week, there was contact and he was constantly texting me how much he misses/needs me ect soon enough we decided that we where better together….
fast forward to now after being so romancy, no fights(we never fight) ect he tells me he wants to at the least go on a break, he told me how much he was struggling and in all honesty it hurt my heart but at the same time I didn’t want him to leave me, finally we agreed on a break but I am not allowed to communicate with him what so ever (no contact break) not only this but he said “I need to figure myself and my things before coming back to you, I don’t know how long it’s going to take” so not only is it no contact, I have no clue when it will stop, I know this is for the best and that he needs this right now but I can’t help but lose my mind without him, I know I shouldn’t be so dependant on him but I genuinely don’t know what to do, im scared he’ll forget about me.
I guess what im asking is; how do I make it through this no contact break (im not even allowed to send him a meme)? & what are your guy’s thoughts and opinions on this? I truly feel likes he’s my one.
3 comments
How many times since the beginning of all this have you two actually been together in person?
This never ends well and add in his mental health issues especially BPD can be extremely emotionally taxing to be on the other side of. I’d advise moving on but if you don’t then you need to really look into how to deal with someone with BPD. I recommend reading I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me
You probably won’t appreciate my advice, but as an outside POV, you should work toward not being dependent on him. This yo-yo-ing and constant uncertainty is not healthy for you. It’s great how you want to be supportive, but perhaps a firm end to the relationship makes sense for your sake, and for the sake of your bf as he clearly needs to focus on managing his disorder. You are young, this is holding you back from meeting other people and developing into an independent individual.