I have a group of 3 other friends from university, all of us now living in the same city. We have a group chat to organize meetups.
Yesterday, I met up with one of the friends in the group. Last week, she mentioned feeling down and wanted to meet. I told her I was free on Friday night (although later I had an important appointment, I clearly mentioned in the group chat that I would be free on the weekend if anyone was interested instead). There was no response from the group. Since I cared about her, I reached out to her personally to meet up, and we did yesterday (after she arrived an hour late, which seems to be a common occurrence). She then told me that she had met the other two friends separately last week (one-on-one, not a group hangout). I understood, but I couldn’t help but wonder why they didn’t just mention it in the group chat for a meetup with everyone.
Today, another friend from the group asked if anyone was still interested in a networking event next Tuesday. He had asked in the group chat three weeks ago if anyone wanted to join, and I was the only one who responded positively. He didn’t even respond to my message asking to have lunch together when he sent the signup link, yet he readily engages in the group chat.
This situation makes me feel like I’ve made an effort to be approachable by reaching out and agreeing to plans (people have previously mentioned I seem somewhat distant). However, I ultimately feel like I’m being taken for granted. It seems like they don’t necessarily value my presence specifically, but rather just want someone available. How can I demonstrate that, while being approachable, my availability shouldn’t be taken for granted?