I feel like the answer is obvious, but I feel really bad given the circumstances, and want to have some new perspective.
I’ve met a new friend recently and have been excited to have a local friend. We met through a cat volunteer agency we both work for. She recently (a month ago) invited me over to her home for lunch and I agreed, when I arrived, I realized she lives in a very uncleaned home. I will spare the details, but for some reference points, her restroom looked worse than some frat houses I’ve been to and there were many uncleaned litter boxes throughout her home…I think some cats are using the walls and carpet for their restroom too…I’m not a super OCD clean freak, but I do respectfully want to eat food made in a clean environment.
Thankfully for me, her stove was not working that day…she was very apologetic but I could kinda tell her stove hasn’t been working for a while. She offered to bbq something for us, which I declined on the grounds it would be too much trouble, so we ate some bagged snack items and then I left as quickly as I could. It was the best outcome for the situation.
Well apparently she fixed her stove and she wants us to come over for a big meal. Thankfully I’ve had some good excuses recently, due to my partner’s birthday and other events, but I don’t know how long these excuses will work for…especially since I see her every Wednesday for our cat volunteer meeting group. I feel really bad because she has expressed to me she has no friends, despite growing up in the area, and has really clung to me…I guess I just feel bad because I’m empathizing too much with her loneliness. Part of me wants to volunteer to help her clean her home, I feel like she only lives this way because of depression right? But my partner has talked me out of it multiple times, I’m working on not fixing everything.
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I guess long story short, how do you kindly reject a home cooked meal, knowing it was cooked in a gross environment?