First time using reddit, sorry if anything doesn’t make sense. Didn’t know where else to ask.
Basically what the title says. my boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while now, we lost our virginity to each other. Our sex life is great, healthy, communicative, and we both really enjoy it. However, I have never had an orgasm in my life, with him or alone. This doesn’t bother me at all, but he has told me multiple times that he wants to make me cum. The problem is I’m not sure if I’m even able to?
For background, I always considered myself asexual or at least on that spectrum. I’ve never looked at anyone and been like “omg i want to fuck them/want them to fuck me.” I never got horny, and before I met my boyfriend I’d only tried masturbating twice. Both times I was able to find my clit, and make my legs shake, so physically it should have felt good. But mentally it was just… boring. It’s not like that at all with my boyfriend, I love having sex with him and I initiate it 50% of the time if not more. But I feel like it’s more because I’m having sex *with him* and less about the fact that there is something inside me. Like it’s about the connection with him. To clarify yes, having sex feels good to me physically. But when I read other people’s descriptions of how touching their clit feels really good, how fingering themselves can make them cum, I feel like my experience doesn’t align with that, and that I’m somehow on a lower level of physical pleasure. I feel like my mental pleasure and physical pleasure isn’t on the same page.
Can anyone else relate to this feeling? Is this normal? Should I bite the bullet and ask him to try using a toy together? (Neither of us have ever owned or used one.) I know he really wants to make me cum and I want to be able to do that for him. Thank you for any help or advice!