My husband is a wonderful father and a caring partner that’s my preface. But he is so frustrating sometimes, he is home for paternity leave I just went back to work 6 weeks ago. He needs me to leave him lists to get stuff done, doesn’t check our family calendar and doesn’t remember when I tell/ask him to do/about shit. Hence the calendar and lists which are things he asked for to help him remember. He is also in the national guard and was away this weekend, our baby was sick and he came home deciding he wanted to go camping this weekend when I had on the calendar that my friends wedding is this weekend. He also complained about the state of the house when I did way more this weekend when the baby was sick and fussy than he does in a week when she is healthy and content. He counts fixing his bike and slaughtering fowl with our neighbor, and going to the grocery store and only buying junk food and meat he wants as chores. I know I sound like an ungrateful witch, I love him to death. But he annoys the shit out of me at times. Any advice Is welcome.
6 comments
You don’t sound ungrateful. You sound frustrated. And reasonably so.
To be completely honest he just sounds pretty immature.
>Any advice Is welcome.
What’s your goal?
Change your expectations or get a different husband? If your husband does not look at the calendar then do not expect him to look. Just remind him when eventa he agreed to attend are coming up. If he complains about the state of the house then tell him how to help out. Focus on the important things. You might love him but do you respect him?
Typical American marriage. You are not an ungrateful witch, your husband is a selfish manchild but our society tells men like this they are good husbands and women still need to do more.
I work 2nd shift. I always call my husband on my way to work to give him his list of things for the evening with the 2 kids. It’s routine. You’d think after 10 years he’d know but that’s not the case. He will never plan a weekend away without checking in with me first. He doesn’t ask permission but just asks if we have anything going on. Maybe tell your husband to run things by you before committing if he isn’t going to look at the calendar. Communication is key.
My husband doesn’t do as much housework as I do however he never complains about a messy house. He rarely goes to the grocery store because weekly shopping is my responsibility. He will always buy too much crap. I banned him from the grocery store at one point but he was okay with it. He was making us go way over budget. It’s not as bad now that our finances are better.
He is the man that I married and I have accepted that I can’t change him. I love him for who he is even with all the annoying traits. I am pretty sure I have a lot of annoying qualities that he also has to deal with.
I might be completely off but does he have attention deficit of sorts? We have this dry eraser board and a calendar where we write things down and it helps a lot. We both have crazy jobs and it’s hard to remember things. My husband has attention deficit that accompanies his OCD and Tourette’s syndrome. So some things are just hard for him but he does much better when he heavily relying on the calendar and the board. Where is your calendar at? Online? We found it to be much better to have in front of our face on the fridge. It didn’t work for us online