I (31f) and my partner (31f) are fairly new- we have been together for 5 months. This has been the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in a relationship and she says the same. There have been no red flags up until today when I found out that she was once married, and divorced two years ago. She had only told me that she was once engaged- never married. I found out about the marriage sort of on accident by myself.
I confronted her and asked if she had been married. She said yes. She was immediately incredibly remorseful and apologetic. She claimed that she didn’t tell me because of how deeply ashamed and embarrassed she was of the marriage (they were only married for 3 months). I reassured her that I don’t care about her previous marriage, I still love her, but I’m hurt that I was lied to via omission like this. She was clearly panicking and kept apologizing. In her stupor, she said that she doesn’t know if she will “ever recover from this”. I don’t understand what that means for her. I could tell she wasn’t in the headspace to process this so we agreed to give it a rest and talk again tomorrow.
Am I a fool? I don’t want to lose her. This just seems like such a huge thing to lie about to a person that you allegedly plan to share a life with. We plan to move in together once my lease is up this December. Is that not real either? I’m so lost and could use some help processing this
Update: thank you for the comments. This has helped me understand the severity of the issue here. I will be having a conversation with her again early next week when she is back from her work trip.