It’s been almost one and a half year since I’ve been dating someone virtually me (M19) being an ftm and my boyfriend (M19), we met at a dnd table and ended up showing feelings for each other. When I told my mom (F42) I was dating, she was very happy and supported the relationship, and my boyfriend even traveled to see me and stayed at my house for 2 weeks, they got along well and It was an amazing experience, he took me to a bunch of dates because we coudnt see each other often, but my boyfriend never liked my mother’s attitude of not respecting my decision to be trans (ftm) never respecting my pronouns, and always said things that she later regretted, My mother isn’t exactly abusive, but she tends to be sometimes, verbally abusing me over small things, and easily taking her anger out on me.
Because of this, my boyfriend started to dislike her a lot because of the bad attitudes she often had towards me, and because he had problems with his mother too, he was very angry with the way she treated me and started to convince me about living alone, and I agreed, because I was starting to have suicidal thoughts after being treated badly for days in a row, insulted and even beaten.
But during a fight between me and my mother, she took my cell phone without my permission while i was sleeping, seeing the messages I exchanged with my boyfriend about wanting to live alone in the future and venting about her anger outlash, and some moments when my boyfriend she even cursed her for treating me like trash even though I tried my best to please her, and now she genuinely hates my boyfriend, thinking he made me hate her, having even pressured me to break up with him, and I almost did it, I just didn’t do it because my boyfriend helped me withstand her psychological pressure.
There were times when I had to choose my mother or my boyfriend, my mother is a “loving yet abusive” person so I don’t exactly know how to deal with this situation
I love both of them, but I don’t know if I’m making the right decision to stay with my boyfriend, I love him a lot and I genuinely want to maintain my relationship with him and I don’t see why I should leave him just because my mom doesn’t like him. What should i do about It?
**TLDR: My mother hates my boyfriend for not approving the way she treats me and my mother forces me to end the relationship but i dont**