For context, I’m a third-year college student who lives at home. It’s always been difficult to connect with people, and it’s even harder not living on campus.
I’ve tried so many things since I’ve began college. I’ve joined campus organizations. I’ve actually been in one for TWO years and landed a leadership role, but I still feel like a stranger. I was accepted purely because I knew the person hiring me, but I think they’ve come to regret it. My first year I really tried, I met up with a few people from my high school and even invited their roommates. Two of them came and we went to a KBBQ, and it was awful. That’s fine, we didn’t do anything again.
One of the high-school friends I thought I could stick with used to go to the gym with me at school. I was always asking him and asked around 7-8 times and get food a few times and they’d always say yes. I knew them in high school and always encouraged them to join clubs on campus. They never asked me to do anything whether it was go the gym or get food so I took it as a rejection. We don’t talk anymore, and they obviously have their own group. You don’t connect with everyone, it’s fine, I get it.
Another person I hit it off with really well in one of my classes. We’d text for a couple of weeks frequently a lot about our classes, and how we played music in high school, and (at the time) liked Genshin and it really helped because they were shy too. I wanted to expand things and asked them if they wanted to join any major-related clubs on campus and they ghosted me the whole weekend. I was discouraged, but I thought they were just shy so the next weekend I asked if they wanted to study together for a class at a library. They responded when, and then ghosted me again for the weekend. I was annoyed, so we stopped talking. They asked me months later what classes I was going to take, and I ghosted them out of spite. What was I supposed to do?
I was friends with this girl that used to be in my group in the same campus organization I mentioned in the beginning. She was one of the few people I got to know. She left, but this year I asked her to get food and she said yeah. I thought we had a great time, we talked about relationships, people, etc. I replied to her close friends a few times, until she ghosted me. Maybe I just didn’t say anything interesting enough to open my message for. She asked me for tickets for a place I worked at, and when I tried to sell them cheaply, she ghosted me again. Maybe she expected them for free, which I would’ve done if she hadn’t ghosted me or asked. She still likes my story occasionally and if I see her I’ll say hi, so maybe she doesn’t think it’s a big deal? I don’t reply to her story anymore, but what am I suppose to do? Is it right to be offended or is this not a big deal? Am I suppose to be her fan to be left on read?
I feel like I keep trying and striking out. Am I getting too petty? Or am I supposed to pursue someone’s interest relentlessly and shamelessly? The most realistic thing is probably that they already have friends and make plans with them, but don’t hate me, but what am I suppose to do in that case? I’m seriously so desperate ðŸ˜ðŸ˜