I, 19m, and my best friend, 19f, met when I was 16, and she was 17, and she just asked me to hang out one day. Ever since we have been amazing friends, hanging out constantly, sharing everything about ourselves, and being very open. I have been friends with her through one boyfriend, about a year long, maybe 5 months after we met. After that she talked about him so much, and I tried my best to comfort her, not out of any weird ulterior motives, but I really do care deeply about her. She hooked up with one guy about 3 months ago and told me about it, and how much she regretted it. Again, I tried to talk her through that and not judge her at all. Though this did hurt me a bit, as for maybe the last 8 months I’ve developed a huge crush on her. This week, we went to an Airbnb, and after getting there late ish in the night, about 9pm, we started drinking. We did everything we normally do when we drink, and though she has always been touchy when she drinks, it seemed to be a bit more that night. Eventually we made our way to the bedroom, where she fell asleep on top of me. (While a bit weird, I’m horrible at taking hints, and I go to her house to sleep in her bed all the time, so I didn’t think to deeply about it.) after about 30 minutes, she wakes up, and we cuddled, and then she began kissing me, leading into having sex. Afterwords, we talked about it for like an hour, just laying there holding each other. It wasn’t awkward at all, and I was a virgin, so she was very communicative, and we talked through it. The next day waking up, we stayed in bed until about 4pm, (crazy I know) and talk through it, saying we don’t regret it and we love each other. After getting back to the AirBnb that night, I didn’t think it would happen again, though we had drank again. I was close to falling asleep when we start talking. Then after maybe 2 minutes she says she wants me to kiss her. We have sex again, and talk afterwords too. The next day, we talked through everything, and it was not awkward AT ALL, I couldn’t believe how normal it felt to talk about it and go about our day as planned. We just got back home today, and haven’t talked about it since this morning. Overall, I’m scared for the future. This girl knows everything about me, and we have been extremely close for years, we get along so well. I really do value our friendship more than she knows, and I am scared how this will change it. Im definitely not opposed to seeing where it goes, but how do I approach this situation? I’m scared to ruin the friendship, but I’m also scared to not take an opportunity to have something great I guess (not sure how to word this lol). Basically asking, what do i do now?
TL;DR: my best friend and I had sex twice. I love our friendship, and I’m worried this will ruin it, but hopeful it may go farther than friendship, what do i do?