Hi all,
First of all, this is a throwaway profile because my bf is also on Reddit.
I’m looking for advice regarding our sex life. Me (26F) and my BF (M28) are together for over 5 years. At first, my libido was normal/high. I think we did it 4/5 times a week. About 3 years ago it bacame lesser and lesser and now it is once every 2 weeks I think. This is mainly because of my dropping libido. Luckily he doesn’t pressure me into anything (as it seems his libido also dropped over the years, not as much as mine tho).
I’ve tried stopping with hormonal birth control to get my libido back, that doesn’t seem to help (libido sometimes gets higher during ovulation, although not every cycle). I’m not into any kinks (that i know of) and bf isn’t either (I’ve asked him this numerous times).
My bf is sweet, compliments me, does his share of house-work. I would like it if he became a bit more vocal during sex but he’s unsure about that and it eventually stops after a few times. Also, I can’t orgasm without a vibrating toy, I don’t always want to reach for it as I get the feeling my bf thinks it takes away the romance. He almost never reaches for it. Because of that, there is a orgasm gap in our relationship. I told him a few times I would like for him to prioritize my orgasm more (not above his or anything, but that the gap becomes less obvious). But, also in this case, that changes after a few times.
He is a bit shy about talking about sex. Normally, I don’t mind but because he is shy about it, I also have a hard time vocalizing my needs.
I’m not sure if the info above is the cause of my dropping libido, but maybe it is. Do you have any tips? About libido, talking about sex life or any other advice? Thank you in advance!
PS. I know Reddit can be tough in it’s advice and that’s okay. But I’m not okay with comments that say I have to break up with him or him having an affair or anything like that. We have a healthy relationship, we trust eachother completely and I’m okay with my sex life as is. But I also think there’s (a lot of?) room for improvement. I just want some tips from both male and female about how you would address the issue or how you would like for it to be handled.