How do I Motivate my partner?
I (33f) and my wife (28f) have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I do the cooking, the cleaning the shopping take care of the pets (2 of which she begged her mom for) and make all the phone calls. At first I was willing as I know they have issues with there physical health and was hoping that they would at least try to work on that with time. However after breaking my hand at the end of January I’ve had no help what’s so ever. they have a hernia that needs surgery and decided to flake on there appointment today. I cant even get them to go to therapy at this point. I get they have anxiety and health issues but nothing I say or do can help them understand I struggle with this stuff also. I feel taken advantage of and when I bring it up they threaten self harm or just straight up to tell me they don’t care How do I motivate them to try? I try not to judge or quip as I know it must suck to have certain health issues but its just so much to deal with at time for them and myself. Lately they have said they have autistic demand avoidance and that it makes them unable to assist with even phone calls or cleaning up after their dog. is there anything that could help with that?